Being a bloke is great because:
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
* You don’t give a monkeys if someone notices your new haircut.
* Wrinkles add character.
* You don’t have to leave the room to make emergency crutch adjustments.
* People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.
* The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
* You can throw a ball more than 5 feet.
* One mood, ALL the time.
* You can open all your own jars.
* Hairdressers don’t rob you blind.
* You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
* You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
* Your last name stays put.
* The garage is all yours.
* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
* If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still
be your friend.
* If you are 30 and single, nobody notices.
* Everything on your face stays its original colour.
* You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.
* Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
* You don’t have to clean your house if you invite friends around.
* You can sit in silence watching a football game with your mate for hours
without thinking “He must be mad at me.”
* If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might
become lifelong friends.
* The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
* You don’t have to shave below your neck.
* One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
* You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.
* You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
* Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th,
in 45 minute
THE WORLD IS YOUR URINAL.