Thursday, 16 July 2009

Ten tips for building a marriage

Take encouragement or take action by thinking about the following points and how they can strengthen your marriage:

* You don’t have to feel loving in order to be loving.

* Love your husband/wife even when they don’t deserve it. None of us does all the time.

* Choose to treat your marriage partner with respect! Even when hurt or angry, at least be as polite as you would be to a neighbour or colleague. If you wouldn’t be rude to them, why should you be to your partner?

* Recognise that - just like you - your marriage partner sometimes needs somebody to comfort them. Give a them hug, a touch, a reassuring word or listening ear.

* Make a decision to listen to, and understand your husband/wife - before you expect them to listen to you.

* Remember, it’s not what you said, but what they think you said that is the issue. In a conflict, keep to the issue in hand.

* Resist the temptation to say ". . . and while we’re about it, another thing is . . .” It’s extremely difficult to resolve multiple issues at the same time.

* Help and support one another in the ‘little’ tasks of life.

* On sensitive issues, and during disagreements, feed back what you think your partner is saying or feeling - before you say what you think or feel about the matter.

* Appreciate your marriage partner. Be specific about what you like about them.

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