In my opinion, ever pastor and leader should reflect on these questions regularly and be truly honest with yourself! Remember, the worst person you deceive is yourself!
A great post by Ron Edmonton.
1) Do life alone, trust no one and have no “real” friends.
2) Question everyone’s motive in the church.
3) Don’t learn or get to know know key stakeholders in the church.
4) Constantly compare the success (or lack there of) your ministry to other ministries.
5) Refuse any outside critique or evaluation.
6) Keep your family life always second to the church.
7) Take personal pride in numbers.
8) Believe you have to do everything, be everywhere and never say “no”.
9) Spend time with God only when preparing for a message.
10) Ignore the warning signs of burnout.
11) Pretend you’re good when you’re not. Always protect your image.
What am I missing? (Put this in a context like leading meetings.)
Conditions
What do I complain about?
What’s happening when I’m at my best?
What situations seem to drain me? Energize me?
Tip: Adapt the above questions when you give feedback. For example, “You seem most energized when you ________.” Include the follow-up, “What makes that so energizing for you?”
You can’t do important work and respond immediately to email and text. In other words, expecting immediate responses trains people to spend time on trivialities and urgencies.
2. Use the stuffed dragon method.
Give everyone in your office a stuffed dragon. Put the dragon on your desk or in front of your door when you’re doing priority work.
You invite interruption when you leave your door open. Give everyone permission to carve out uninterrupted work time.
3. Turn off notifications.
4. Keep a notebook on your desk.
Don’t chase random thoughts, record them.
5. Stop making everything a priority.
Any boss who believes everything is a priority has a team that can’t focus.
Deadlines often establish priorities. All assignments need a deadline. The next time you assign a task, discuss and establish a deadline.
6. Discuss commitments.
Over-commitment is distraction.
Don’t make new commitments without discussing your current commitment-load.
“I have these five commitments. Where would you like me to place this new commitment?”
7. Schedule a five-minute buffer.
Schedule five minutes between meetings. Take a breath, a short-walk, or just put your feet up.
One person closes their door and turns the lights off in their office for a few minutes.
You will get more done if you don’t run from one task to the next.
Others control your time when you rush from one urgency to the next!
One of the surest predictors of an organization that will eventually stop growing is that its leaders stop growing.
Life moves forward, and culture changes; the church today is not the same as it was years ago. We as leaders must continue to grow and get better at our work if we want the church to continue to thrive.
Growth as a leader requires learning and change. How are you growing?
Do you have a plan for growth? A coach? A supervisor that helps you become a better leader?
If yes, you can break through this lid. You can always begin to grow again.
2) When your insecurities rise above your calling and gifting.
Insecurities are common amongst leaders, now perhaps more than ever.
All leaders have insecure moments; that’s very different from being an insecure person.
Of course, there are insecure moments; if you are leading, you are taking people somewhere you and they (together) have never been before. It’s uncharted territory, and you’re not always sure what to do.
But remember, just because you don’t know what to do, that doesn’t mean you don’t know what you’re doing. You can figure it out!
Every time you solve another problem or challenge (figure it out), you break through the lid of insecurities, and you develop authentic confidence.
3) When you don’t develop and empower leaders.
A vision big enough to be worth pursuing requires more leaders to achieve it.
As an organization grows, it becomes more complex and requires more leaders to take it forward.
Developing leaders isn’t complex, but it does require relentless commitment and ongoing intentional effort.
The results are incredibly worthwhile.
If I can be overly candid here, if you are too busy to develop leaders, you are too busy. It’s time to hand off some of your work to others to make sure this happens.
One sure way to breakthrough this leadership lid is to develop more and better leaders on your team.
4) When your people no longer know that you care.
No longer genuinely caring about the people you serve is unlikely, but here’s how it can seem like you don’t care.
You can become exhausted from solving problems, hurt by so much criticism, overwhelmed by pressure, or struggle with a personal issue – perhaps a family member who is ill.
Any of these can consume so much time and personal energy that you drift in your closeness and connection with those you serve. If this becomes prolonged, it produces an almost imperceptible lid on your leadership.
If you sense a drift from those closest to you, take some time to discern the cause and focus on the remedy. Then, let a few of those closest to you in on what’s going on. A few honest conversations will go a long way.
5) When you stop hearing from God.
All leaders experience dry periods in their spiritual life when for a season, it seems as if God’s voice is silent.
If a spiritually dry season becomes prolonged, it can become a lid to your leadership, but there is no need to fear this.
God is still with you in spiritually dry times, and you can lean into the wisdom He has already given as well as seek wise counsel from your trusted advisors.
In my experience, a spiritually dry season always comes to an end, and I learn again that God never drifted from me; it was I who needed to draw near to Him.
6) When you don’t have clarity of vision.
This final potential leadership lid pertains mostly to the senior leadership team, but it certainly impacts the entire team and church.
Any time you no longer have a clear vision, your leadership will become a lid to the church’s growth.
Over the past seventeen months, vision has been challenged. We have learned how to cast vision for shorter periods, but it’s still challenging.
If you are unclear about your vision, your best solution is to embrace the Great Commission (Matt. 28:19-20) as your vision until you have clarity for the unique expression of vision for your church.
Withholding negative consequences for disappointing performance.
Making room to learn from mistakes.
Allowing poor performance with the view of improvement and growth.
Realizing that everyone isn’t good at everything. Exploring reassignment or job crafting.
Permitting time for people to find their greatest contribution.
John Baldoni writes that grace, “… is the disposition to do something more for others.” He goes on, “Grace is the essence of life that enables us to see the world not simply as a place for us but rather a place for all of us.”
4 Secrets of graceful leadership:
#1. Grace is more than patience:
5 ways grace exceeds patience.
Patience withholds. Grace gives.
Patience permits. Grace provides.
Patience tolerates. Grace innovates.
Patience is restraint. Grace is intervention.
Patience is reactive. Grace is proactive.
#2. Grace is about the giver.
Do the graceful thing because it’s who you are, not for benefits you might receive. However, in a world of limited time and growing opportunity, focus grace – when possible – on responsive people. (Read, Give and Take, by Adam Grant)
An open heart takes you further than a clenched fist.
#3. Grace doesn’t obligate.
Generosity with strings is manipulation. Kindness that mposes obligation is barter.
Seek the best for others. Appreciation may return to you. It may not.
Think of grace as a gift. Grace that focuses on response from recipients ends up frustrated and disappointed.
Employee turn-over is one area where leaders learn to be graceful. You pour into someone who leaves. Now what? Grace keeps pouring out after disappointment.
#4. Grace corrects.
The point of graceful correction is improvement, not punishment. Consequences co-exist with grace. “You fell short. How can I help?”
Grace is the context of high performance, not the endorsement of incompetence.
You don’t need to read much of the Bible to realize that God cares deeply about his reputation.
For example, the Bible says in Ezekiel 20:44, “Then you’ll know that I am the LORD, when I will have dealt with you for the benefit of my own reputation and not according to your evil attitudes or corrupt practices” (ISV).
But God doesn’t just care about his reputation. He cares about the church’s reputation, too. This is taught throughout Scripture. As Christians, we are “little Christs” who represent Jesus on earth. We can either bring him fame or shame.
This is important for all believers, but it’s particularly crucial for those of us who lead. We must be people of integrity. The world is watching how we respond to the tests and trials in our lives. We either draw people to Jesus or repel them with our lack of integrity.
To have a ministry of integrity, make these four commitments:
Speak the truth plainly.
The Bible tells us in James 5:12, “But most of all, my brothers and sisters, never take an oath, by heaven or earth or anything else. Just say a simple yes or no, so that you will not sin and be condemned” (NLT).
James isn’t talking about profanity. He’s telling us to avoid a different kind of swearing. We’re not to take an oath. If you don’t have enough integrity to do what you say without swearing, you have a problem.
As a follower of Jesus, your word should stand on its own. Others taught the same truth in Scripture. Paul wrote similar words to the church in Corinth in 1 Corinthians 1:17-19, and Jesus said it in Matthew 5.
When you read something more than once in the Bible, you better pay attention. Being a disciple of Jesus Christ starts with having a faith that says what you mean and means what you say.
Share the truth completely.
Lying is when you intentionally mislead others by either falsifying or concealing information. If you deliberately hold back part of the truth, you’re lying. Half the truth is a whole lie. To be a person of integrity, you don’t play games with the truth.
Proverbs 10:10 says, “Someone who holds back the truth causes trouble, but one who openly criticizes works for peace” (GNT). Pastors, there are many ways we can hold back the truth. Sometimes we need to have hard yet honest conversations in our families and in our churches. If we shrink from these conversations, we can’t call ourselves people of integrity.
Sometimes you may be tempted to hold the truth back because you want to be kind. But after 40+ years of leadership, I’ve learned this always backfires. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 28:23, “In the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery” (TLB).
Truth often hurts, but dishonesty leaves lasting scars.
Use the truth tactfully.
The Bible never tells us to use the truth like a club. In fact, Ephesians 4:15 says, “Speak the truth in a spirit of love” (GNB).
People change faster and easier when the truth is wrapped in love. Truth without love is always seen as an attack.
Without love, all of our actions mean nothing. If you don’t love the people you’re sharing the truth with, stop sharing it. You’re just a sounding brass and a tinkling cymbal (1 Corinthians 13). Your truth-telling will never produce lasting fruit.
If you’re just trying to get something off your chest, you’re not speaking in love. Just because you’re willing to share the truth doesn’t mean the other person is ready to hear it.
The solution to any conflict in your ministry or your family is not deception; it’s tact. You can use your words to heal or hurt, make a point or make an enemy.
Live the truth consistently.
Integrity isn’t being honest 80 percent of the time. Partial honesty is dishonesty.
Paul writes in Ephesians 4:15, “Let our lives lovingly express the truth” (AMP). When we let the Bible permeate our lives, I believe many people would listen better to what we have to say about Jesus.
Integrity is a requirement for leadership because all leadership is based on trust. If people don’t trust you, you can’t lead them.
The Bible says of David, “He shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart, and guided them by the skillfulness of his hands” (Psalm 78:72 NKJV). David demonstrated two important components of leadership—character and competence. Both are essential to leadership. One without the other is a disaster.
More than anything else, I want to lead my church with integrity and skill.
Most leaders will have occasions of worry. Worry is an emotion. You can know all the principles of leadership and still struggle with occasional worry. I would love to offer some encouragements for worried leaders.
I’ve talked to some who say at least one day a week they are consumed with anxiety and fear. It’s the kind of frustration which, left unchecked, makes them almost want to quit. I talked to a pastor not long ago that was struggling with stomach problems (I won’t get more graphic than that), because of the worry he is dealing with as a leader.
The fact you worry shows you are normal, human, and conscientious as a leader. You want to be successful and the natural reaction is to worry when you feel you may not be.
But emotions play tricks on us. They’re fickle and unreliable. Our desire to do well, causes our emotions to produce worry. Constant worry can destroy a good leader, because it will control how the leader responds to others.
Obviously, Jesus said, “Do not worry!” We probably know this truth, believe it and want to live it. So, what’s the practical side of Jesus’ command in leadership and how do we actually live out the command?
Here’s something you need to know – or may need reminding. Having a strong faith is no guarantee your emotions – worry – won’t play tricks on you at times.
All of us worry, but how you respond when you worry seems to control you as a leader?
7 encouragements for worried leaders:
Pray and Bible study.
You knew I’d say this, didn’t you? Worry is, by definition, a misplaced trust. Ultimately your answer is in God’s ability and His control, not your own. If worry is consistently plaguing your leadership, you need to fill your mind with truth through Bible study and prayer is step one.
Remember your purpose.
You have to remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing. When worry hits you, you need grounding to something more permanent than your worries. You have a life purpose. Likely you believe in a vision. Hopefully you have some goals. You need to remember what fuels your fire and why you are willing to take the risk of leadership. If worry has gotten to the place where you’re not sure of your purpose anymore, stop everything and find it again. You can’t afford not to.
Contact an encouraging friend.
I always find other leaders can speak truth into my life just when I need it most. God uses relationships to strengthen us and make us better. I have to be bold enough to text a friend and say, “I could use some encouragement”, but I’ve never been disappointed when I’ve been that bold. If you don’t have someone like this in your life that’s your assignment. The goal is to find the person and build the relationship before you need them.
Review your track record.
Most likely you’ve had success which led to the position you have now. You can do it again.One reason I keep an encouragement file is so I can read through the positive things I’ve done on days when nothing seems positive.
Count your blessings.
And name them one by one. There are always others who would love to have what you have. Someone is always worse off than you are. Most likely, even outside the position you have as a leader, God has blessed your life. Spend some time remembering the good God has allowed you to experience. The list is probably longer than you think and will help you avoid worry as you recall what God has already given you.
Get some rest – and hydrate.
Worry is more present when you are tired. I’ve learned we are often dehydrated and it makes an impact on us physically and emotionally. You may have to quit for the day so you can prepare for better days. The depth of the worry should determine the length of the period of rest. I’ve also learned part of being fully “rested” also includes making sure you are as healthy as you can be by eating the right foods and exercising, especially during the busiest seasons of life.
Rationalize.
People who most need to rationalize hate this one, but most of the things we worry about never come true. Is your worry based on reality or based on your emotional assumptions? Dismiss the things you can’t control, aren’t certain will go wrong, or the unknown. The more you limit irrational thoughts, the less for which you’ll have to worry.
Let me also say that if you are suffering from serious anxiety – to the point of being depressed, that’s not what I’m addressing in this post. Don’t ever be afraid to get professional help.
There are certain non-negotiable qualities every Christian leader needs to possess and grow in. Carey Nieuwhof shares 7 of them you can’t afford not to have.
By definition, that’s what a leader is: a person whom others follow. (If no one is following you, you’re probably not a leader, unless you’re pre-launch, but even then, look back at your life. Has anyone followed you… ever?)
Naturally, you can gain a following through a variety of means. Not all are great.
Dictators gain following. So do cult leaders. So do criminals.
Not all leadership is great leadership.
Which raises the question, how do you know you’re a leader worth following?
If you’re a Christian, I think this adds another dimension to your leadership. You need to model leadership in a way that reflects the character and heart of Christ.
So what exactly does that look like?
I’ve met thousands of Christian leaders in my two decades of leadership, and when I think about the leaders I believe are worth following, seven qualities keep rising to the top:
1. HUMILITY
Of all the qualities and characteristics I see in great leaders, humility is one of the greatest. It’s also rarer than it should be, even amongst Christian leaders.
Christians don’t always do humility well. Sometimes we equate humility with groveling or low self-esteem. It is neither.
C.S. Lewis said it so well when he wrote that true humility is not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.
God gifted you for life and ministry. But the point is that God gifted and equipped you for ministry, you didn’t. The gift always says more about the giver than it does about the recipient.
Trying to take credit for your gifting makes you like a song that ignores its composer. It doesn’t make the song less powerful; it just distorts what’s going on.
Any alternatives to humility lead straight to arrogance. And as even Jim Collins’ research has discovered, humility is the primary differentiator between good leadership and great leadership. He argues that ego-centric, celebrity-style leadership is the antithesis of great leadership.
Struggle with ego? Be a little less impressed with yourself and more impressed with your team. Better yet, be deeply impressed with God.
2. INTEGRITY
Most of us think integrity is a good thing, but what does the term mean?
On the one hand, it means that who you are on the inside matches what you appear to be on the outside. You are consistent to the core.
The concept of integrity springs from the original Latin root of the word, which means ‘intact.’ In other words, can you withstand the crisis intact? A house with integrity (a solid foundation that is what it says it is) will withstand a storm. A house with a flimsy foundation won’t.
‘Normal’ doesn’t test your integrity. A crisis does. If you want to see how deeply your integrity runs, just look at your last crisis.
If you want to improve your integrity, take the steps you need to ensure your private walk matches your public talk.
3. A PASSIONATE FAITH
These points are in no particular order, but still, you might wonder why a passionate faith isn’t #1.
First, people would expect it to be #1… so to sound fresh and make sure you don’t skip it; it’s #3.
A passionate faith is the ultimate hallmark of Christian leadership.
But the part that lags in many leaders is the passion part. Leadership can make you weary. Like paint, passion fades over time.
Your team will only ever be as passionate about the mission as you are. So do whatever it takes to stay passionate.
4. EMOTIONAL HEALTH
There are a lot of emotionally unhealthy leaders in leadership, but if you want to be a leader worth following, get healthy.
Your health as a leader impacts your entire church regardless of the size.
I am part of a church that’s home to over 2000 people. I don’t know many of them by name. But I do know this: the health of a leader impacts everyone in the organization. Everyone.
If you’re healthy at the top, you’ll be healthy at the bottom. If you’re unhealthy at the top, you’ll be unhealthy at the bottom.
Emotionally healthy people recognize, understand and manage their own emotions and reactions. They also know, understand and can (appropriately) influence the emotions of others.
Think about it. Isn’t that what the majority of church conflict is about? Exactly.
Your church or team will only be as healthy as you are. Why?
Because eventually, healthy people won’t serve under an unhealthy leader. And unhealthy people won’t stay for long under a healthy leader unless they want to get well.
5. TRUSTWORTHINESS
Trust is confidence, and in leadership, it operates at two levels.
First, there’s personal trust. Personal trust is about:
Telling the truth.
Character.
Integrity.
We’ve already talked about that.
But there’s another element to trust, and that relates to your performance.
There are more than a few leaders who personally have solid character but are untrustworthy as leaders because they don’t deliver.
The key to instilling confidence in your team as a trustworthy leader is simple: do what you said you were going to do when you said you were going to do it.
If you’re sloppy, undisciplined and miss deadlines, your team will never fully trust you. And they’re right not to.
6. TEACHABILITY
You may be the leader, but you also need to continue to be a learner.
Being an effective leader is not as much about being the teacher as it is about being teachable.
If you’re not learning, you’re not growing.
The truly exceptional leaders allow their teams and followers to teach them too. This isn’t just about peer learning, or learning from mentors, conferences or books.
It’s about a posture of openness.
The more teachable you are, the more people will love being led by you.
7. CLARITY
One of the most challenging aspects of leadership is establishing clarity.
Think about it. Leadership is complex with many variables. Your head spins from the uncertainty involved. I get that.
Leaders worth following, though, do the hard work of creating clarity.
You can’t always be certain. But you always have to be clear.
The alternative is ambiguity. No one can follow or get excited about ambiguity. And ambiguity doesn’t change the world.
HUMILITY, INTEGRITY, AND TRUST ALL BOIL DOWN TO YOUR CHARACTER
It was the late John Stott who said that pride is our greatest enemy and humility our greatest friend. The book of proverbs reminds us that pride goes before a fall (Proverb 16:18). It would seem that we are seeing more and more gifted leaders fall prey to pride and self-implode at some point.
Chuck Lawless shares 10 ways to recognize our arrogance.
I’m writing this post for me as much as for anyone. Some years ago, I re-read Jim Collins’ How the Mighty Fall and Tim Irwin’s Derailed. Both of these gripping studies review decline in leaders and organizations, especially in leaders who perhaps once thought themselves invincible. Using these potential markers of arrogance help me to evaluate my own life.
Marker #1: You believe few people are as smart as you are.
Not many people actually say these words, but honest leaders must admit they sometimes think this way. Some reveal this thinking by their ridicule of anybody else “not quite up to my level.” Others assume they should be part of almost every discussion, regardless of the topic.
Marker #2: Your first reaction to negative is to be defensive or to cast blame on others.
If anything adverse (e.g., a lack of growth in the organization, a divided leadership team, a failed program) is always somebody else’s fault, you might see yourself as above such declines.
Marker #3: Titles matter to you.
I realize folks work really hard to earn titles – but, if your title has become your first name, you’ve crossed the line.
Marker #4: You assume your organization cannot fail.
The bottom line for you is this: your organization cannot fail because you don’t fail. Your track record is so filled with successes that failure is unimaginable.
Marker #5: Not knowing “insider information” bothers you.
Arrogance is characterized not only by a belief we know almost everything, but also by a desire to know the “scoop” before others do. If you get frustrated when you’re not in the information’s inner circle, you may well be dealing with arrogance.
Marker #6: You are disconnected from your team members.
If you see your team members more as cogs in a system than as valuable partners – or worse yet, if they perceive you view them that way – you may be haughtily operating as “a steam engine attempting to pull the rest of the train without being attached to it.”[ii]
Marker #7: Spiritual disciplines are secondary, if not non-existent, in your life.
If you are leading externally without spending time with God privately, you are leading in your own strength. That’s sin.
Marker #8: No one has permission to speak truth into your life.
Leaders who fall are often not accountable to anyone. If no one plays this role in your life, your lack of accountability is likely evidence of pride.
Marker #9: Other people see you as arrogant.
Take a risk – ask others what they really think about you. Be specific in asking, “Do I ever come across as arrogant?” Even the most emotional (and perhaps exaggerated) responses likely reveal some level of truth. Hear it.
Marker #10: This post bothers you . . . or doesn’t bother you.
If these words bother you, you may be coming face-to-face with reality in your life. If they don’t bother you, you may be failing to see the arrogance that characterizes all of us.
I recently preached about the importance of Listening to God and to others like Jesus did. We all need develop the skill of listening. The next morning I read this email from Dave Kraft, a brilliant read. Thanks Dave!
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At some point in my seminars, I always say that as a staff worker (volunteer or paid) you hopefully have a ministry (or job) description. The most important thing that should be on that description…your first, and primary responsibility as a leader, is to hear from God. This is sometimes assumed or flat out neglected.
The most important thing about your job is not what you do, but who you are in Jesus. We increasingly discover this as we take time to hear from him.
First Samuel chapter three is very instructive on this issue. Verse one tells us that during that particular time period messages from the Lord were rare and visions quite uncommon. The bottom line was nobody was hearing from God or had received a vision from God as to what He wanted to do. The problem was not that God had nothing to say, but that no one was truly listening.
Along comes Samuel. God speaks to him as he is sleeping. He thinks it’s Eli. Both of them soon realize that God is speaking to Samuel. In verse 10 Samuel says, “Speak, for your servant hears.” (ESV) In some translations it says, speak for your servant is listening. The Message has it: “Speak for your servant is ready to listen.”
The most important thing you can be/do as a leader is be ready to listen to what God wants to say to you–and through you. In verse 17, Eli says to Samuel, “What was it that he told you?” (ESV).
This is a question that all leaders should be challenged to regularly ask each other: What has the Lord been showing you, teaching you, making clear to you? What have you been hearing?
We live in a fast-paced culture with lots of “noise” constantly coming our way. There is a good chance your ministry context is also fast paced with more going on than you think you are capable of handling. We all desperately need to hear from the Lord. For me personally I want to be:
Intentional about listening
Ready to listen
Eager to listen
Motivated to clearly hear (and respond) to what he is saying to me
Because of our propensity to keep super busy, feeling like there doesn’t seem to be enoug hours in a day to get everything done, we need to:
Be quiet and know that he is God. (Psalm 46:10)
Gain perspective when we feel like we’re living and ministering in a fog. We might not always get clarity or answers, but we can get perspective.
Know what we should be doing at any given moment.
Be reminded of the cross, the resurrection and the power of the Holy Spirit in our life.
Jesus, forgive us for traveling so fast that we, at times, figuratively leave you in the dust and ignore you. Forgive us for worrying ourselves into a frenzy and forgetting that you are God. Forgive us for calling you father on Sunday and then acting and ministering the rest of the week like we’re orphans. Please give us a fresh desire to know you, being ready to listen to you. Thank you that you desire for us to have perspective, peace and power in our lives.
