This is an exceptional post by Rick Warren.
If you
are prolonging a relationship that you know is going nowhere, don’t continue
it. “But I won’t have anybody to take me out on Friday night,” you say. A bad
marriage is a million times worse than not going out on Friday night! The
longer you’re in a relationship, the more difficult it’s going to be to get out
of it.
Proverbs
28:23 says, “In the end, people appreciate honest criticism far more than
flattery” (NLT).
Size that
person up quickly. Make sure he or she is emotionally healthy. Don’t be afraid
to ask questions like, “Do you have uncontrolled anger?” “Can we talk about
me?” or “Will you pick up the tab?”
Regardless
of the emotional state of your partner, you need to begin a personal
relationship with Jesus Christ yourself. If you haven’t done that, you need to
start there. You need to get spiritually connected to God.
Then I
want to challenge you to commit yourself to God’s standard and not let oceans
of emotions sway you into making a stupid decision. Given the right situation,
you can get a quiver in your liver and fall in love with the idea of being in
love. But don’t make a stupid decision!
Don’t
date until your own emotional hurts are healed or at least in the healing
process. Get rid of the bitterness. Get rid of the anger problem. Get rid of
your baggage.
I
remember marrying a couple many years ago at Saddleback. About five years later
we had them over for dinner. The woman told me, “When I walked down the aisle
in that white dress, I had no idea that I was carrying an entire bag of
emotional garbage on my back. And I took all that garbage into the marriage.”
Friends,
marriage does not create problems. It reveals them. The more you can deal with
it before you get married, the happier, more God-honoring, and more fulfilling
your marriage is going to be. You will have that deep soul intimacy that is
personal, relational, sexual, and spiritual. It is the oneness that comes from
being unified by a relationship to God, your purpose, and your calling.
Talk
About It
- What are the changes you need to make in your relationship?
- What are the hard questions you need to ask in your relationship?
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