4 Ways To Refresh When Your Soul Is Weary

Here is a great post by Dan Reiland. 

1) Know that God is moving, even if it’s hard to see.

A few years back, God said something to me during a prayer time that was one of those moments that you carry for a lifetime.

I was in a hurry that day, so I prayed for a shorter time than usual, and I remember moving quickly as I left my prayer room in the basement. As I was leaving, God spoke clearly, saying, it’s okay for you to go and tend to your work, but I cannot be rushed. I genuinely felt his grace and love and sensed that my prayer time wasn’t measured in minutes, but if I wanted the fullness of His presence, that could not be rushed. Whoa.

Waiting upon God is not always easy, but if you want to know how He is moving, you have to slow down and wait. 

I do too.

When we slow down for time with God, His plans become more clear to us. When God chooses not to make His plans clear, His presence alone is enough, but that process can’t be rushed.

Scripture is loaded with the idea of waiting. A few of my favorites are Psalm 27:14, Isaiah 30:18, and Isaiah 40:29-31.

How might God be moving in your church that you don’t see at the moment?

2) Honesty with God is spiritually healthy. 

If you are frustrated, weary, anxious, even wondering if God is with you in your ministry, it’s good to tell Him. 

If you are wondering about your church’s future, remember it’s His church, and He cares more than you do, so be blunt. Talk to God about exactly how you feel. He can handle it. 

This kind of honest conversation with God usually leads to spiritual self-reflection. It’s in these kinds of prayers that the Holy Spirit often leads me to Psalm 139:23-24:

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:23-24

Verse 23 uses the word “anxious” (NIV), but you can insert many different words that represent what you are experiencing. 

God will meet you there and often begins with the question, “Why?”

Why are your thoughts so anxious? 

Typically, I’m reminded it’s me, not God, or life’s circumstances, and He meets me there. My hunch is that it may be similar with you as well. 

This process leads to great peace, and your leadership burden becomes lighter because you remember you don’t carry it alone.

3) Figure out where you will get your water. 

Desert times, weary times, dry times can leave any leader thirsty. And we can choose to “get our water” or quench our thirst from a number of different sources. 

Obviously, God is our primary source.  

No one and no thing satisfies to the depth that God does. But in His kindness and according to the design of His creation, God gives us room to be human and allows us to be refreshed in several ways. 

But let’s first acknowledge a few ways that may seem like they satisfy the soul but don’t. 

• Working harder – Hard work is good, but working harder to fill an inner void is not healthy. 
• Gaining approval from others – The approval that matters most is from God and a small inner circle. 
• Changing how you measure success – Lowering standards may make you feel better in the short term, but over time, it’s only changed lives that matter.
• Justifying drift – Pressure can make any leader justify unacceptable actions. Drift from God can lower pressure, but it will not increase peace.
• Unhealthy diversions – Unhealthy diversions may feel good in the moment but can become addictions and should be avoided at all costs. 

God has made room for your thirst to be refreshed, your soul satisfied, and your weariness to be lifted through ways such as:

• The richness of friendships
• The joy of laughter
• The pleasure of a hobby you enjoy
• The need for physical rest
• The satisfaction of learning and growth

Again, nothing meets your deepest needs like God Himself, but don’t miss out on all that He provides.

4) It’s a great time to deepen relational roots. 

In my perspective, everything comes down to relationships. 

The first relationship began in the garden with Adam but became broken. It was restored through a relational covenant with Abraham and ultimately offered to all of us through a personal relationship with Jesus.  

It’s a foundational biblical truth that relationships are key to our well-being. 

Whenever you face a difficult time, a leadership weary time, or possibly a spiritually dry time, a refreshed and a renewed sense of well-being comes from strengthened relationships.

Pause for inventory and investment in your closest relationships:

• God
• Family
• Friends
• Colleagues 

Is there just one that could use your attention today?

MY PERSONAL GPS

A great post by Dave Craft

One of the traits that I admire in others and, with His help, practice in my life, is being a life-long learner.  This is especially true as it relates to my character.  In I Timothy 3 and Titus 1, two key chapters in the New Testament on leadership, most of the listed qualities have more to do with character and relationships than with skills.

I camped on Joshua 13:1 a while back “Now Joshua was old and advanced in years, and the Lord said to him, ‘You are old and advanced in years, and there remains yet very much land to possess.’ ”  As I memorized, and have been meditating on that verse, I understood that, application-wise, it impacts both my work for the Lord, and my walk with the Lord. At first I was thinking of remaining land to possess mostly being my work…dreams to dream…goals to reach…people to influence.  Then I was led to consider that “land to possess” could apply to my character and my relationships.

In some extended time with Jesus, which I try to have once a month, I was led to develop my personal GPS (Global Positioning Satellite).  I wrote three thoughts in my prayer book that I have been praying about daily.

Gracious words –

 It is so easy to be everything but gracious with the words that flow out of my mouth. I can be judgmental, cutting, unkind, not compassionate and critical.  I am asking Jesus to help me be gracious in my speech.

Patient spirit –

If there is one sin that has caused more trouble in my life than any other it is being impatient…being in too much of a hurry and not waiting for God’s timing. I tend to rush ahead and take things into my own hands, not trusting the Lord.  Luke 8: 15 mentions “bearing fruit with patience.” That is the first time I connected the dots between being fruitful and being patient. I confess that I hate to wait. I am grateful for His patience in dealing with my impatience. Even at my old age of 80 (that is why I can identify with Joshua…old and advanced in years), I am trusting the Lord for personal transformation in this area of my life

Servant’s heart – 

I read Luke 22 and focused on verses 25-28, “The kings of the gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those in authority over them are called benefactors. But not so with you. Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest and the leader as one who serves. For who is the greater, one who reclines at table or one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves.” I’m asking Jesus to show me what true servant leadership looks like.  How can I humbly serve others in ways that don’t draw attention and praise to myself?

As a life-long learner and leader, what has He been showing you?  Can you identify some remaining land He wants you to possess?

WHEN PASTORS AND OTHER LEADERS DON’T GET ENOUGH REST

Thanks Dave Kraft

As leaders, I’m  confident we’ve all read that the average adult should get between 7-9 hours of sleep each night. I’ve also read that many, maybe most, don’t get enough and are to a large extent sleep-deprived a lot of the time; which can lead to other unfortunate situations that are harmful and unhealthy. Why would pastors and other leaders intentionally choose to sleep less?  Chuck Lawless (pastor and seminary professor) shares eight reasons why we make this unfortunate choice.

Why we shortchange ourselves on sleep

Originally posted by Chuck Lawless

WHEN PASTORS DON’T GET ENOUGH REST

Many of us in ministry get too little rest (and I’m one of the guilty ones), and we need to think about making changes. Here are some of the possible results of our not getting enough rest:

1. We run the risk of inadvertently illustrating a gospel that ignores the body. As Russell Moore has written, “Because we believe in the resurrection of the body, we know our bodies are not expendable vehicles for our souls.”[1] We must not prioritize and idolize our bodies, but we cannot neglect them, either.
2. We have little energy to do all that the pastorate demands. Pastoral ministry is not easy. It’s emotionally and physically draining. Rest helps us to have the energy we need for this work.
3. We often neglect our spiritual disciplines. We’re just too tired to read the Word. Like the disciples, we sleep when we should be praying. And, we don’t steward our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 3:16) to get the rest that God demands.
4. We’re more susceptible to temptation. In general, we’re less aware and less alert when we don’t get sufficient rest. It’s hard to put on the full armor of God when you’re worn out.
5. We’re often more short-tempered with others. Our family bears the brunt of our weariness, and our church members might, too. In fact, we might show who we really are when fatigue sets in.
6. We lower our leadership capacity. I’ve been there, and you probably have, too – you’re so tired you can’t pay attention, and you can’t even remember the details of the meeting you led. Weariness almost always equals less attentiveness.
7. We make ourselves more susceptible to other illnesses. A fatigued body is less prepared to respond to the germs and illnesses readily passed through church families that spend a lot of time together.
8. We’re likely undisciplined in other areas of our life as well. Seldom have I met a person who is undisciplined in only one area. Those of us who choose not to get enough rest usually make unhealthy choices in other areas, too. For example, I usually don’t eat well, either, when I’m not getting the rest I need.

MINISTRY SUCCESS…YOUR FRIEND OR YOUR ENEMY?

A challenging post by Dave Kraft

What is biblical success? How is it to be measured?

A few years ago I read a book, The Paradox of Success, which dealt with the dark side of success. I’ve come to the conclusion that there is a vast difference between success and significance. Worldly success is not the same as biblical significance. A person could be incredibly successful and have very little kingdom significance.  On the other hand, a person could be very significant in God’s eyes, but not very successful in the world’s eyes.  Jesus is the quintessential example of this.

I know it borders on oversimplification, but success is much about getting and significance is much about giving. Paul quotes Jesus in saying that it is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35), but I wonder how many Christians and Christian leaders really believe that. So much of our western culture is hell-bent on getting and we are being swept along in its wake.

Having stuff, nice stuff, and lots of it…being high on the org chart, very high…having a big salary, very big…and reaching your ministry goals, exceeding others expectations of you is still how many Christians understand success. We greatly admire and respect those who have, in our opinion, arrived. Do you think this is what describes true biblical success…kingdom significance? 

Maybe, just maybe, we need to revisit our working definition of success to see how much of what we believe is truly biblical and not merely cultural, with a few verses added for “seasoning” here and there.

There is a dark side–a downside–to a misguided view of success: Greed, manipulation, pride, ego, using people for our own ends, being served rather than serving, an insatiable appetite for more and more.  John D. Rockefeller was asked how much money does it take to make a man happy, and he responded, “Just a little bit more.” How much success does it take to make a leader happy?  Just a little bit more. “Just as Death and Destruction are never satisfied, so human desire is never satisfied.” Proverbs 27:20 (NLT)

When it comes to success in leadership and in God’s church, we need to be careful of selfish ambition (James 3:14) as opposed to godly ambition, which Paul encourages (1 Timothy 3:1) by commending a man aspiring to the office of overseer. It boils down to what’s in my heart and what’s motivating me.

Recently I read Mark 10:42, 43 in The Message where Jesus says to his disciples:

“You’ve observed how godless rulers throw their weight around,” he said, “and when people get a little power how quickly it goes to their heads. It’s not going to be that way with you.” (Underlining is mine.)

As I thought and prayed about this, I journaled about how quickly not only power but success, fruit, admiration, respect, adulation can go to my head as a leader. It can all be categorized under the heading of pride, which is the biggest pitfall and land mine that I, and all other leaders, face. Recent leadership history is littered with the results of unbridled lust for success and acclaim. “It’s not going to be that way with you!”

There is something in my broken, fallen and sinful nature that wants (desperately wants) to be successful, well thought of, respected, fruitful; but, at the same time, there is something inside of me that is desperately afraid of the dark side of success…fearful of what success will do to me…go to my head, lead me to use people, abuse people, manipulate people, step on people, compare with people so I can be yet more successful in my own eyes.  I lead scared!

This topic, this problem, this Paradox of Success has been the theme of many movies and books and is as old as time itself. How to be truly significant for the kingdom and make a lasting contribution for the glory of God, but not fall into letting what God gives me by way of kingdom significance go to my head. “It’s not going to be that way with you.” To which I say,  Amen Jesus! Please don’t let anything you allow me to have or to achieve, go to my head and become all about me instead of all about you…all about my “kingdom” and not all about your kingdom.

LEADERSHIP DERAILERS: FATIGUE AS A BADGE OF HONOUR

WOW....Another challaging post by Dan Rockwell

Leadership is already challenging. Don’t make it harder than it needs to be.

Ego confuses fatigue with importance.

Leadership derailers: fatigue as a badge of honor.

The challenges of leaders require the intentional practice of self-care.

Superman and Wonder Woman only exist in the comics. Burning the candle at both ends makes you less than you could be.

Fools limit their potential with constant fatigue.

You might be surprised to learn that the very top leaders:*

1. Get adequate sleep.
2. Eat healthy.

(*Rasmus Hougaard’s)

Sleep tips:

Tired people can’t bring their best. Mental and physical wellbeing are built on adequate sleep.

Tired people have lousy relationships.

High performance is built on rest.

Try the spoon drop test to see if you’re sleep deprived. (BBC video 1:29)

6 sleep tips:

1. Create a sleep schedule. Go to bed and get up at the same time.
2. Pay attention to food and drink. Don’t go to bed hungry or stuffed. Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine.
3. Create a restful environment. Limit screen time before bed. Make the room dark.
4. Limit naps.
5. Engage in physical activity.
6. Manage worries and stress.

(Above list adapted from Mayo Clinic.)

Eat healthy tips:

My best eating tip: Eat all the healthy food you want and limit your intake of unhealthy food.

1. Snack healthy.
2. Go for walks.
3. Avoid temptation. Don’t keep ice cream in the freezer.

Self-care is smart, not selfish.

Take care of yourself if you want to maximize usefulness and expand influence.

Self-neglect isn’t a badge of honor.

What’s difficult about self-care?

What’s one thing you could do to improve your self-care practice?

3 more derailers:

#1. Inability to gain advantage from criticism. Defensiveness derails growth and development.

#2. Being thin-skinned and easily offended. When you can’t resolve offenses, YOU become toxic.

#3. Unresolved anger. There’s no middle ground with anger. It makes you better or drags you to oblivion.

Bonus material:

How to Give to Others Without Burning Out (Berkeley)

Self-Care 101 (Psychology Today)

5 Ways to Practice Self-Care, Even as a CEO (Inc)

God says there’s a purpose in your trials!

A great reminder by Pastor Rick Warren

God says when you run into troubles, it’s an opportunity to experience joy. That doesn’t make much sense, unless you understand the supernatural power of God.

He uses the problems in your life to help you mature spiritually as you become more like Christ. That means none of your problems are arbitrary or outside the power and grace of God. He can take any difficulty you face and turn it toward his purpose.

God uses your troubles to strengthen your faith. It’s similar to the way you strengthen your muscles. If you were lifting weights, each time you added more weight, the stronger your muscles would become.

In the same way, God uses problems to help you grow spiritually, building your character through a series of tests that strengthen your patience, your persistence, and many other traits he wants to develop in you.

Ultimately, he’s transforming you into a living image of Jesus. As you trust God in the midst of your troubles, you will grow in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

So how do you pass these tests? The good news is you get to use the textbook to check out the answers. They’re all right there in the Bible.

Here’s a good verse to remember: “When troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy” (James 1:2 NLT).

Why is it an opportunity for “great joy”? Because this year, as you face trials, you can trust God is at work, using them for your good. And as you lean into him, you’ll experience more of his supernatural strength and joy lifting you up, even in a difficult situation.

3 Guidelines For More Open-Handed Leadership

A great post by Dan Reiland

The longer you lead in any one organization, the more difficult it is to let go.

That’s natural.

You’ve invested more, so there is more to protect. Or at least be tempted to protect. 

It’s not unlike the difference between a young adult who is twenty-five and a middle-aged adult who is fifty-five. 

If you are a young adult who is just moving out of your parent’s place for the first time with a modest bank account and all you own in the back of an SUV, you are probably more willing to risk big because there’s not as much to lose.  

If you are a middle-aged adult with decades of life invested, married with three kids, a mortgage, and your life savings set aside, you’re still willing to risk, but you think about things differently. You handle your money differently … you are more likely to hold onto it and for good reasons.

In leadership, however, it’s essential to be more open-handed with your authority, influence, and what you have built. 

Partially because it doesn’t really “belong” to you, but ultimately because the future of your church matters more than control and comfort. 

Continue to take risks and give away as much authority as possible if you want your church to remain healthy and grow. 

If you hold on to all the influence, your church will get stuck. 

Don’t misunderstand; it does matter who you hand off to, along with when and how, so keep developing leaders you trust and believe in.

It may seem like I’m writing only to leaders over forty or over fifty. 

I’m not. This is for leaders of every age. 

The sooner your whole team embraces this idea, the faster it gets in your culture. 

If you are young you may be tempted to think, “I don’t have much influence to give away.” 

Sure you do. 

There’s an army of incredible volunteers just waiting for you to empower them. 

3 guidelines to follow: 

1) Stop Protecting

Protecting comes naturally to good leaders. 

• Good shepherds protect their flocks. 
• Good flight attendants protect their passengers. 
• Good parents protect their kids. 

But these are examples of protection from harm, not protection from growth.

As a leader, it’s important not to allow this nature to spill over into the arenas of responsibility, authority, decision-making, and influence.

I’m not suggesting you give away the farm — but do open your hand. 

There are things that only you can do. Of course, keep them and do them. 

In leadership, however, we tend to protect out of insecurity and fear, and we give from strength and courage. 

Churches always benefit from the latter of the two.

What are you holding onto that you may need to hand off to someone else? 

It’s not always easy to hand someone the keys. They might wreck the car, right?!

But someone gave you the keys, or you could never start driving. We have to keep passing things along. 

The hand-off is not always fast… and each age group defines speed differently.  

Young leaders tend to think it’s moving too slow. I did. And seasoned leaders often think it’s moving very fast. That, too, is natural.

It’s better to do it right for your church and your culture than “fast.” The most important thing you can do is talk about it in open and honest conversations.

2) Start Including

All authority is transferred. 

No one holds the ultimate true power and authority, except God. 

He transferred it to His Son, and Jesus transferred it to His Disciples. 

God transfers authority to the Son: 

“Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him.” 

John 17:1-2

Jesus transfers that authority to the disciples:  

“When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick.”  

Luke 9:1-2

Jesus transfers authority to the body of believers:

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” 

Matthew 28:18-20

As a leader you also transfer authority. 

And these scriptures represent the foundational biblical model for this idea. (There are many more scriptures that add support to this way of thinking about leadership authority.)

The following are very practical ways to express a more “open-handed” leadership that involves more people and helps to raise-up new leaders: 

Think inclusive
Whenever possible, invite more potential leaders into the process of ministry and leadership development, rather than fewer. 

Include other leaders at the table. 

Think movement for the many, not club for the few.

Share ideas
Be quick to pass on great ideas, helpful articles, and books, tricks of the trade, insights, new trends, and insider info. 

The more you give away, (lift the lids of your leaders), the more you raise your own leadership lid and the potential of your church.

Give information
Communication is key. All churches struggle with communication to a degree, but we can’t give up and resign to “it’s just part of the territory.”  

Dig in and communicate clearly, quickly, and concisely. Do your best to keep your team in the know. 

Grant responsibility
What can you hand-off to other leaders? 

They might not do it as well as you, but you have other big picture things to do. 

Focus any re-gained time from delegated responsibilities to thinking about the future, praying, developing leaders, solving problems, and innovation. 

Note, innovation is not about merely making things different; it’s about making them better.

Transfer decision-making
Hand in hand with giving responsibility to others, transfer as much decision-making as reasonable and appropriate. 

It’s important to train your leaders first and remain diligent in transferring the culture that makes your church unique.

3) Keep Investing

Once you hand off responsibility, don’t stop investing and developing the leaders you empower. 

Remember, some of your leaders are still new and need your wisdom and experience. They are better with you, just like you are better with them.  

You don’t have to start and master all this at once, but continue to take steps to more “open-handed” leadership.