7 Encouragements for Worried Leaders

 A good read from Ron Edmondston!

Most leaders will have occasions of worry. Worry is an emotion. You can know all the principles of leadership and still struggle with occasional worry. I would love to offer some encouragements for worried leaders. 

I’ve talked to some who say at least one day a week they are consumed with anxiety and fear. It’s the kind of frustration which, left unchecked, makes them almost want to quit. I talked to a pastor not long ago that was struggling with stomach problems (I won’t get more graphic than that), because of the worry he is dealing with as a leader.

The fact you worry shows you are normal, human, and conscientious as a leader. You want to be successful and the natural reaction is to worry when you feel you may not be.

But emotions play tricks on us. They’re fickle and unreliable. Our desire to do well, causes our emotions to produce worry. Constant worry can destroy a good leader, because it will control how the leader responds to others.

Obviously, Jesus said, “Do not worry!” We probably know this truth, believe it and want to live it. So, what’s the practical side of Jesus’ command in leadership and how do we actually live out the command?

Here’s something you need to know – or may need reminding. Having a strong faith is no guarantee your emotions – worry – won’t play tricks on you at times.

All of us worry, but how you respond when you worry seems to control you as a leader?

7 encouragements for worried leaders:

Pray and Bible study.

You knew I’d say this, didn’t you? Worry is, by definition, a misplaced trust. Ultimately your answer is in God’s ability and His control, not your own. If worry is consistently plaguing your leadership, you need to fill your mind with truth through Bible study and prayer is step one.

Remember your purpose.

You have to remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing. When worry hits you, you need grounding to something more permanent than your worries. You have a life purpose. Likely you believe in a vision. Hopefully you have some goals. You need to remember what fuels your fire and why you are willing to take the risk of leadership. If worry has gotten to the place where you’re not sure of your purpose anymore, stop everything and find it again. You can’t afford not to.

Contact an encouraging friend.

I always find other leaders can speak truth into my life just when I need it most. God uses relationships to strengthen us and make us better. I have to be bold enough to text a friend and say, “I could use some encouragement”, but I’ve never been disappointed when I’ve been that bold. If you don’t have someone like this in your life that’s your assignment. The goal is to find the person and build the relationship before you need them.

Review your track record.

Most likely you’ve had success which led to the position you have now. You can do it again.One reason I keep an encouragement file is so I can read through the positive things I’ve done on days when nothing seems positive.

Count your blessings.

And name them one by one. There are always others who would love to have what you have. Someone is always worse off than you are. Most likely, even outside the position you have as a leader, God has blessed your life. Spend some time remembering the good God has allowed you to experience. The list is probably longer than you think and will help you avoid worry as you recall what God has already given you.

Get some rest – and hydrate.

Worry is more present when you are tired. I’ve learned we are often dehydrated and it makes an impact on us physically and emotionally. You may have to quit for the day so you can prepare for better days. The depth of the worry should determine the length of the period of rest. I’ve also learned part of being fully “rested” also includes making sure you are as healthy as you can be by eating the right foods and exercising, especially during the busiest seasons of life.

Rationalize.

People who most need to rationalize hate this one, but most of the things we worry about never come true. Is your worry based on reality or based on your emotional assumptions? Dismiss the things you can’t control, aren’t certain will go wrong, or the unknown. The more you limit irrational thoughts, the less for which you’ll have to worry.

Let me also say that if you are suffering from serious anxiety – to the point of being depressed, that’s not what I’m addressing in this post. Don’t ever be afraid to get professional help.

7 QUALITIES A LEADER CAN’T AFFORD NOT TO HAVE

There are certain non-negotiable qualities every Christian leader needs to possess and grow in. Carey Nieuwhof shares 7 of them you can’t afford not to have.

Originally posted by Carey Nieuwhof

How do you know you’re a leader worth following?

By definition, that’s what a leader is: a person whom others follow. (If no one is following you, you’re probably not a leader, unless you’re pre-launch, but even then, look back at your life. Has anyone followed you… ever?)

Naturally, you can gain a following through a variety of means. Not all are great.

Dictators gain following. So do cult leaders. So do criminals.

Not all leadership is great leadership.

Which raises the question, how do you know you’re a leader worth following?

If you’re a Christian, I think this adds another dimension to your leadership.  You need to model leadership in a way that reflects the character and heart of Christ.

So what exactly does that look like?

I’ve met thousands of Christian leaders in my two decades of leadership, and when I think about the leaders I believe are worth following, seven qualities keep rising to the top:

1. HUMILITY

Of all the qualities and characteristics I see in great leaders, humility is one of the greatest. It’s also rarer than it should be, even amongst Christian leaders.

Christians don’t always do humility well. Sometimes we equate humility with groveling or low self-esteem. It is neither.

C.S. Lewis said it so well when he wrote that true humility is not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.

God gifted you for life and ministry. But the point is that God gifted and equipped you for ministry, you didn’t. The gift always says more about the giver than it does about the recipient.

Trying to take credit for your gifting makes you like a song that ignores its composer.  It doesn’t make the song less powerful; it just distorts what’s going on.

Any alternatives to humility lead straight to arrogance. And as even Jim Collins’ research has discovered, humility is the primary differentiator between good leadership and great leadership. He argues that ego-centric, celebrity-style leadership is the antithesis of great leadership.

Struggle with ego? Be a little less impressed with yourself and more impressed with your team. Better yet, be deeply impressed with God.

2. INTEGRITY

Most of us think integrity is a good thing, but what does the term mean?

On the one hand, it means that who you are on the inside matches what you appear to be on the outside. You are consistent to the core.

The concept of integrity springs from the original Latin root of the word, which means ‘intact.’  In other words, can you withstand the crisis intact? A house with integrity (a solid foundation that is what it says it is) will withstand a storm. A house with a flimsy foundation won’t.

‘Normal’ doesn’t test your integrity. A crisis does. If you want to see how deeply your integrity runs, just look at your last crisis.

If you want to improve your integrity, take the steps you need to ensure your private walk matches your public talk.

3. A PASSIONATE FAITH

These points are in no particular order, but still, you might wonder why a passionate faith isn’t #1.

First, people would expect it to be #1… so to sound fresh and make sure you don’t skip it; it’s #3.

A passionate faith is the ultimate hallmark of Christian leadership.

But the part that lags in many leaders is the passion part. Leadership can make you weary. Like paint, passion fades over time.

It’s so important to make sure your passion stays fresh. (Here are 5 signs your passion is white-hot.)

Your team will only ever be as passionate about the mission as you are. So do whatever it takes to stay passionate.

4. EMOTIONAL HEALTH

There are a lot of emotionally unhealthy leaders in leadership, but if you want to be a leader worth following, get healthy.

Your health as a leader impacts your entire church regardless of the size.

I am part of a church that’s home to over 2000 people. I don’t know many of them by name. But I do know this: the health of a leader impacts everyone in the organization. Everyone.

If you’re healthy at the top, you’ll be healthy at the bottom. If you’re unhealthy at the top, you’ll be unhealthy at the bottom.

Emotionally healthy people recognize, understand and manage their own emotions and reactions. They also know, understand and can (appropriately) influence the emotions of others.

Think about it. Isn’t that what the majority of church conflict is about?  Exactly.

Your church or team will only be as healthy as you are. Why?

Because eventually, healthy people won’t serve under an unhealthy leader. And unhealthy people won’t stay for long under a healthy leader unless they want to get well.

5. TRUSTWORTHINESS

Trust is confidence, and in leadership, it operates at two levels.

First, there’s personal trust. Personal trust is about:

Telling the truth.

Character.

Integrity.

We’ve already talked about that.

But there’s another element to trust, and that relates to your performance.

There are more than a few leaders who personally have solid character but are untrustworthy as leaders because they don’t deliver.

The key to instilling confidence in your team as a trustworthy leader is simple: do what you said you were going to do when you said you were going to do it.

If you’re sloppy, undisciplined and miss deadlines, your team will never fully trust you. And they’re right not to.

6. TEACHABILITY

You may be the leader, but you also need to continue to be a learner.

Being an effective leader is not as much about being the teacher as it is about being teachable.

If you’re not learning, you’re not growing.

The truly exceptional leaders allow their teams and followers to teach them too. This isn’t just about peer learning, or learning from mentors, conferences or books.

It’s about a posture of openness.

The more teachable you are, the more people will love being led by you.

7. CLARITY

One of the most challenging aspects of leadership is establishing clarity.

Think about it. Leadership is complex with many variables. Your head spins from the uncertainty involved. I get that.

Leaders worth following, though, do the hard work of creating clarity.

You can’t always be certain. But you always have to be clear.

The alternative is ambiguity. No one can follow or get excited about ambiguity. And ambiguity doesn’t change the world.

HUMILITY, INTEGRITY, AND TRUST ALL BOIL DOWN TO YOUR CHARACTER

10 WAYS TO RECOGNIZE OUR ARROGA

A great post!

It was the late John Stott who said that pride is our greatest enemy and humility our greatest friend. The book of proverbs reminds us that pride goes before a fall (Proverb 16:18). It would seem that we are seeing more and more gifted leaders fall prey to pride and self-implode at some point. 

Chuck Lawless shares 10 ways to recognize our arrogance.

 Originally posted by  Chuck Lawless

I’m writing this post for me as much as for anyone. Some years ago, I re-read Jim Collins’ How the Mighty Fall and Tim Irwin’s Derailed. Both of these gripping studies review decline in leaders and organizations, especially in leaders who perhaps once thought themselves invincible. Using these potential markers of arrogance help me to evaluate my own life.

Marker #1: You believe few people are as smart as you are. 

Not many people actually say these words, but honest leaders must admit they sometimes think this way. Some reveal this thinking by their ridicule of anybody else “not quite up to my level.” Others assume they should be part of almost every discussion, regardless of the topic. 

Marker #2: Your first reaction to negative is to be defensive or to cast blame on others. 

If anything adverse (e.g., a lack of growth in the organization, a divided leadership team, a failed program) is always somebody else’s fault, you might see yourself as above such declines. 

Marker #3: Titles matter to you. 

I realize folks work really hard to earn titles – but, if your title has become your first name, you’ve crossed the line.

Marker #4: You assume your organization cannot fail.

The bottom line for you is this: your organization cannot fail because you don’t fail. Your track record is so filled with successes that failure is unimaginable. 

Marker #5: Not knowing “insider information” bothers you. 

Arrogance is characterized not only by a belief we know almost everything, but also by a desire to know the “scoop” before others do. If you get frustrated when you’re not in the information’s inner circle, you may well be dealing with arrogance.

Marker #6: You are disconnected from your team members. 

If you see your team members more as cogs in a system than as valuable partners – or worse yet, if they perceive you view them that way – you may be haughtily operating as “a steam engine attempting to pull the rest of the train without being attached to it.”[ii]

Marker #7: Spiritual disciplines are secondary, if not non-existent, in your life. 

If you are leading externally without spending time with God privately, you are leading in your own strength. That’s sin.

Marker #8: No one has permission to speak truth into your life. 

Leaders who fall are often not accountable to anyone. If no one plays this role in your life, your lack of accountability is likely evidence of pride.

Marker #9: Other people see you as arrogant. 

Take a risk – ask others what they really think about you. Be specific in asking, “Do I ever come across as arrogant?” Even the most emotional (and perhaps exaggerated) responses likely reveal some level of truth. Hear it.

Marker #10: This post bothers you . . . or doesn’t bother you.  

If these words bother you, you may be coming face-to-face with reality in your life. If they don’t bother you, you may be failing to see the arrogance that characterizes all of us.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ON YOUR “JOB DESCRIPTION.”

I recently preached about the importance of Listening to God and to others like Jesus did.  We all need develop the skill of listening.  The next morning I read this email from Dave Kraft, a brilliant read.  Thanks Dave!

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At some point in my seminars, I always say that as a staff worker (volunteer or paid) you hopefully have a ministry (or job) description. The most important thing that should be on that description…your first, and primary responsibility as a leader, is to hear from God. This is sometimes assumed or flat out neglected.

The most important thing about your job is not what you do, but who you are in Jesus. We increasingly discover this as we take time to hear from him.

First Samuel chapter three is very instructive on this issue. Verse one tells us that during that particular time period messages from the Lord were rare and visions quite uncommon. The bottom line was nobody was hearing from God or had received a vision from God as to what He wanted to do. The problem was not that God had nothing to say, but that no one was truly listening.

Along comes Samuel. God speaks to him as he is sleeping. He thinks it’s Eli. Both of them soon realize that God is speaking to Samuel. In verse 10 Samuel says, “Speak, for your servant hears.” (ESV) In some translations it says, speak for your servant is listening. The Message has it: “Speak for your servant is ready to listen.”

The most important thing you can be/do as a leader is be ready to listen to what God wants to say to you–and through you. In verse 17, Eli says to Samuel, “What was it that he told you?” (ESV).

This is a question that all leaders should be challenged to regularly ask each other: What has the Lord been showing you, teaching you, making clear to you? What have you been hearing?

We live in a fast-paced culture with lots of “noise” constantly coming our way. There is a good chance your ministry context is also fast paced with more going on than you think you are capable of handling. We all desperately need to hear from the Lord. For me personally I want to be:

1. Intentional about listening
2. Ready to listen
3. Eager to listen
4. Motivated to clearly hear (and respond) to what he is saying to me

Because of our propensity to keep super busy, feeling like there doesn’t seem to be enoug hours in a day to get everything done, we need to:

1. Be quiet and know that he is God. (Psalm 46:10)
2. Gain perspective when we feel like we’re living and ministering in a fog. We might not always get clarity or answers, but we can get perspective.
3. Know what we should be doing at any given moment.
4. Be reminded of the cross, the resurrection and the power of the Holy Spirit in our life.

Jesus, forgive us for traveling so fast that we, at times, figuratively leave you in the dust and ignore you. Forgive us for worrying ourselves into a frenzy and forgetting that you are God. Forgive us for calling you father on Sunday and then acting and ministering the rest of the week like we’re orphans. Please give us a fresh desire to know you, being ready to listen to you. Thank you that you desire for us to have perspective, peace and power in our lives.

The Dark Secret of PATIENCE

A must read for every leader by Dan Rockwell!

Speaking softly while red-faced with anger isn’t patience. Self-control proves you aren’t a two-year old.

You can’t be patient and upset at the same time.

Impatience is frustrated with delay and annoyed with disappointment. I hate waiting in lines! Pasting on a smile doesn’t turn self-control into patience.

Patience doesn’t pace the floor while tamping down disappointment.

Impatience with patience:

Higher ups – whose bonuses depend on meeting the numbers – can’t afford patience.

I’ve heard braggards spouting off about pressuring people. But I haven’t heard many leaders brag about patience.

Impatience:

Ego considers patience a vice, not a virtue. Arrogance is intolerant and bombastic. Braggards reject patience.

Impatience gets things done. Patience is too slow for ego-driven leaders.

Patience is fanciful optimism when everything is about the numbers.

5 uncomfortable truths about patience:

Patience:

1. Rejects the need for everything to be the best.
2. Gives second chances.
3. Tolerates weakness.
4. Accepts irritation.
5. Doesn’t complain.

Leaderly patience:

Show me a patient leader and I’ll show you someone people trust.

Aspiration elevates patience.

Patience accepts what is and works to improve. Lack of aspiration is lethargy, not patience.

The ability to respect people and challenge them is leaderly patience. But tolerating incompetence is negligent encouragement.

Progress justifies patience.

Patience dances on the edge of average but doesn’t camp there. Second chances are opportunities to improve, not validation of mediocrity.

The tough side of patience:

Grit lifts patience above apathy.

Patience pulls for improvement while accepting current attainment. Beating people up for past failure doesn’t motivate them to reach high in the future.

You might beat people into conformity, but you lose their hearts. Worse yet, they lose heart.

Patience practices realistic optimism. 

It’s not patience to expect performance from incompetence. It’s delusion.

Patience with people means sticking with them while you manage them out.