Don’t be “Stupid”

A challenging post by Mac Lake. Why is it when we can’t get it all done, we default to adding hours to our work week? Hitting the “can’t get it all done” point should lead us to evaluate our schedule, not extend our hours. Jason Fried, the co-founder of 37Signals, says, ‘Long hours, excessive busyness, and lack of sleep have become a badge of honor for many people these days. Sustained exhaustion is not a badge of honor; it’s a mark of stupidity.” Wow! While I am not brave enough to put it that bluntly, I wholeheartedly agree. Hurried work increases mistakes Excessive work leads to diminished results. More does not equal more. (Don’t believe me? Stanford researchproved it) Long hours decreases morale Lack of sleep diminishes decision-making abilities Never feeling like you cross a finish line leads to disengagement from the mission. Wearing busyness as a badge of honor ruins spiritual health. So, next time you find yourself saying, “I just can’t get it all done.” Don’t be “stupid” (His word, not mine) by skipping your day off, working late, or  weekends. Do the wise thing. Evaluate why you “can’t get it all done.”

GENEROSITY MAKES YOU GREAT AND MUCH MORE

 A great post by Dan Rockwell.

No one stays up late waiting for the Grinch. But all the young at heart stay up waiting for Santa. His heart is warm and his hand is open.

With all the troubles in the world, you do well to follow Santa’s lead.  

Open hands and generous hearts go further than clenched fists.

Zig Ziglar appeals to self-interest when he says, “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.”

Zig is expressing a principle, not encouraging exploitation. But the law of reciprocity only works when you know what others want.

Hot dogs for vegetarians isn’t generosity.

5 benefits of generosity:

1. Expanded perspectives.
2. Strengthened hearts.
3. Deepened commitments.
4. Extended influence.
5. Increased happiness.

Do good, with a warm heart, and see what happens.

5 expressions of generous leadership:

1. Invest in people. Young people want development opportunities.
2. Tell your story. Include lessons learned from failure.
3. Don’t watch the clock. An open heart gives time to others. I know you have too much to do. Perhaps include others in some of your doing.
4. Notice. Positive attention reflects a generous heart.
5. Pour from your cup. Never let what you can’t do be reason to neglect what you can do. Just pour from your cup with a smile.

If you’re not sure how to be generous, look for a need and meet it.

Reciprocity:

Not everyone responds in kind. But leaders don’t let others set their limits.

Give value before taking it, AND welcome generous response.

You always need results, profits, sales, increased numbers, and solutions. But don’t allow your needs to blind you to the wants of others.

“Most people believe vulnerability is weakness. But really vulnerability is courage.” Brene’ Brown

How might leaders live with a warm heart and an open hand today?

Bonus material:

Forget Kindness – We Need to Talk About Generous Leadership – CMI (managers.org.uk)

Why Being a Generous Leader Can Make You a Great Leader – Mind Tools

Leadership Quote 1 by Alan Alda

“Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you.” Alan Alda

    In the light of this:

1. I will enter conversations open to learning and willing to adapt.
2. The way I see things is ONE way of seeing them.
3. I’m willing to change my perspective.
4. My need to be right makes me stupid.

5 WAYS TO LEAD WITH A BIG HEART

'It takes leadership from the heart as well as the head to be successful with people.' Dave Kraft

I have a sense that many leaders operate too much  from their head and not enough from their heart. It’s 18 inches from your head to your heart, but it’s the longest 18 inches in the world. Here’s Dan Rockwell with a few great ideas on ways to lead with a bit  heart.

Originally posted by Dan Rockwell

I’ve always admired leaders who handle heavy responsibility with heart.

Some leaders put on masks and lose themselves to the expectation of others. But leaders with heart bear the load of responsibility with steely resolve and compassion.

Reject the idea that you have to be an ass to expect peak performance from others.

Doug Conant told me, “Be tough on standards and tender with people.”

5 ways to lead with a big heart:

#1. Show up to help more than to fix or correct.

“How might I help?” is better than, “You screwed up.”

#2. Open up more than close down.

You go further with vulnerability than defensiveness.

1. Take a few deep breaths.
2. Stop trying to make things go away.
3. Step into the mess with an open heart.
4. Acknowledge that you don’t know.
5. Work to make SOMETHNG better but give up on making EVERYTHING better.
6. Lock arms with another leader who goes into the mess with you.
7. Explore options. Seek AN answer, not THE answer. A person with THE answer has a closed mind.

#3. Pursue positive opportunities more than preventing problems.

The leadership question is how do you create something, not how do you prevent something.

#4. Practice compassion.

Acknowledge the pain of imperfect people. Smart people do stupid things. Honest people deceive themselves. Self-justification results in arrogance.

An employee gets caught stealing.

Compassion and consequences aren’t mutually exclusive.

Compassion says:

1. I’m so sorry this is happening.
2. This must be embarrassing for you.
3. We’re going to let you go.
4. How can I help you move forward?

Compassion isn’t confirmation.

#5. Practice self-reflection.

In order to bring your best self you must know who you are.

What makes leading with heart difficult?

How might leaders develop big hearts?

Bonus material:

Why the Best Leaders Have a Big Heart (Kevin Eikenberry)

Becoming a Heart-Centered Leader (Skip Prichard)

Lead with your Heart, not just your Head (HBR)

Does your life regularly feel a bit off-balance?

 A great post by Rick Warren and applicable to all!  

Does your life regularly feel a bit off-balance?

It’s a vital question in our frantic, fast-paced culture, but one few people pursue with intentionality.

The principle of balance is one of those laws upon which God established the universe. Every nook and cranny of creation is built on this principle of equilibrium. For instance, the earth is perfectly tilted on its axis to sustain and nourish life. A few degrees one way or another and we’d either burn up or freeze. It is perfectly balanced, and God intended it that way.

And he wants balance for you as well . . . along with the peace, purpose, and joy that comes with it.

I want to give you a quick preview of the seven biblical principles to help you live a balanced life that are found in my series, Building My Life on Values That Last. 

1. Build your life around Christ. In Matthew 22:37-39, Jesus summarized life’s priorities in this way: Love God and love people. If that's the only thing you get done in life, you’ve struck the right balance. That’s how Jesus lived, and he was the only perfectly balanced person ever.

2. Accept your humanity. When you overwork, you're playing God. You're saying, “It all depends on me!” No, it doesn’t. You can resign and it's not going to fall apart. God will take care of things.

3. Limit your labor. God wired you to be in a rhythm of work and rest. Our best requires rest because that’s how God knit us together. That’s why Exodus 20:9-10 says, “You have six days each week for your ordinary work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath day of rest dedicated to the Lord your God” (NLT). It’s commanded because it’s needed. Take God at his word and get some rest!

4. Adjust your values. The reason we get out of balance is that our values get out of balance. We expend all our effort chasing after less important things at the expense of more important things. A balanced life recognizes what’s of eternal importance and pursues those things first.

5. Nourish your inner life. God puts an inner fire within each of us that gives us a passion and zeal and a reason to get up in the morning. And if you don’t tend that fire, it’ll go out and you’ll be left with a cold heart. Psalm 119:16 says, "I will delight in your decrees. I will not neglect your word" (NIV). If you're finding the fire in your life has gone out, get back in contact with the living God through his Word and let him begin to light the fire in your heart again.

6. Commit your daily schedule to God.Psalm 31:15 says, "My times are in your hands" (NIV). When you understand that God knows what you’re supposed to be doing on any given day, you’ll begin to move towards the healthy balance he intends for your life.

7. Enjoy the moment. The Bible says it like this in Ecclesiastes 5:19 (and I’m paraphrasing): "All of us should enjoy what we have worked for. It is God's gift." There are two reasons you were put here on this earth. One, know God, and enjoy a relationship with him. Two, use the talents and gifts he gave you to serve others because that builds character for eternity. And while you're living that life he intended, enjoy all the moments!

HOW TO STOP ASKING, “HOW ARE YOU?” AND CREATE REAL CONVERSATION

 A great post by Leadership Freak!

Stop asking stupid questions like:

1. How are you?
2. How are you doing?
3. How are you feeling?

You already know how people are doing. The future feels like mushy spaghetti.

Answers to, “How are you?” sound inane because they are. What’s worse than “Fine”?

What if “How are you?” comes from your heart. Chances of connecting are like a forecast of rain in the Sahara.

Better questions:

1. What are you working on?
2. What’s next on your agenda?
3. What challenges are you facing?
4. What’s working for you?
5. What’s new in your life?
6. What are you looking forward to?
7. What would you like to get done today?

Noticing:

“Open your eyes before you open your mouth.”

“Let’s say you’re talking to the CEO of a large, iconic company who is about to retire, and you noticed a row of empty boxes along the wall of the CEO’s office. You might start with the question, “How hard is it for you to leave this job?” Gary Burnison, CEO, KORN FERRY

Last interaction:

I’ve been imagining that I’m having my last interaction. (I keep my imagining to myself.) What would you ask or notice if this was your last interaction with someone?

The advantages of a ‘last interaction’ approach:

1. Deep listening.
2. Noticing expressions and gestures.
3. Responding with genuine interest.

I ask about people’s stories when I imagine it’s my last interaction. Recently I asked someone about the first teacher they remember from elementary school.

In another conversation I asked, “What was your most embarrassing moment?” You could ask, “What was your proudest moment?”

How might you have authentic conversations?

What’s the value of having authentic conversations?

10 SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE IN A SPIRITUAL RUT

A challenging post by Chuck Lawless.    Read it and be honest with yourself!

It happens to most of us – we deal with spiritual ruts at some point in our lives. 

Here are some signs to see if you’re in one now.

1. You read the Word, but it’s only a “check-the-box” perfunctory reading. You do it because you know you’re supposed to, not because you want to.
2. You pray, but your prayer is brief and repetitive. It’s lost any real sense of relationship between you and God.
3. You can’t readily talk about what God’s been teaching you lately. That’s because you haven’t been in the best spiritual condition to learn from Him.
4. You feel “spiritually tired.” I don’t know how else to describe it: you just feel blah about your spiritual walk.
5. You’ve not shared the gospel with anyone for a long time. That happens when we’re in a rut—our attention to evangelism gets diverted.
6. You go to church, but with no sense of excitement or anticipation. You’re still faithful Sunday after Sunday – and you might even serve each week – but you have no expectation that worship will move your heart.
7. You’re less sensitive to the Spirit’s conviction when you’re under temptation. It used to be that you turned to God and fled temptation quickly; you still fight temptation today, but with less zeal.
8. All of your testimony relates to what God has done in the past, with no present-tense stories of God’s work in your life. All the high points of your spiritual growth have been in your yesterdays. Today is just routine.
9. You find yourself less interested in hanging out with other believers. Fellowship has become routine, so it doesn’t motivate you to join with others.
10. Your spiritual walk is on autopilot. You do what you’re expected to do as a Christian, but you’re just going through the motions.

Are you in a spiritual rut? Tell us how we might pray for you.

AN ESSENTIAL THAT SKILL THAT FUELS SUCCESS

A good post from Dan Rockwell

It’s natural to consider your own concerns. It’s leadership to reflect on the concerns of others.

The dripping faucet of others is opportunity for perspective taking.

Perspective taking – an essential but neglected skill – enables success.

Concerns:

Deadlines, personnel issues, and pressing problems are dripping faucets for leaders. It’s short-sighted and self-defeating to think you don’t get paid to share those concerns.

Usually the boss brings up pressing problems and deadlines, for example. But perspective takers bring up dripping faucets first.

Refresh your boss by respecting their dripping faucets. The corporate team doesn’t want sympathy.

Their dripping faucet is your opportunity.

(If you can’t share the concerns of your boss, you’re in the wrong organization.)

“An essential component of communicative competence in a pluralistic social world…is our capacity to adopt the perspectives of different others” Rommetevit

Perspective:

Take the perspective of the boss, even if you aren’t the boss.

1. Practice curiosity. Learn to see how others see by using gentle inquiry.
2. Listen a bit longer. Answer a bit slower. Quick answers may feel more like disrespect than concern.
3. Say, “I’ve got that.” Who experiences more fulfillment? The tight fist or the open hand?
4. Inquire about personal concerns. “How’s your mom doing?”

Dedicate yourself to see life as others see it. You don’t have to agree. You just have to acknowledge.

Taking perspective enables you to contribute more and take less.

A narrow lens leads to a small room.

The ability to take the perspective of others multiplies opportunity.

Busy:

You’re too busy to practice perspective taking. But lack of perspective taking might create unnecessary busyness.

Perspective taking questions:

1. What’s on your mind?
2. What’s important to you about this?
3. What important issues are you facing?

Be the person people love to see come and hate to see go.

What hinders perspective taking?

How might you practice perspective taking today?

Bonus material:

Perspective Taking (Lifehack)

The Power of Perspective Taking (PT)

THE 5 POWERS OF SHARED COMMITMENT

Another great post by Dan Rockwell

A leader who refuses to call for shared commitment embraces pointless turmoil.

An inability to create shared commitments propels you toward frantic mediocrity. The doorway to meaningful achievement swings on the hinges of commitment.

Teams rise to the height of their shared commitments.

Few to many:

There are few commitments and many decisions. “We’ll always seek the best interest of others,” is a commitment. How to practice commitments is the place where decision-making happens.

Shared commitment defines the meaning of your leadership.

You don’t need complete certainty, but you do need commitment.

5 powers of shared commitment:

1. Strengthens connection:

Shared commitment forces people to depend on each other. You appreciate individual strengths and contributions when everyone’s in the same boat.

There’s a “we-ness” to shared commitments.

2. Eliminates petty competition: 

Shared commitment allows us to celebrate when someone on the team outshines us. Those who avoid shared commitments have a personal agenda.

3. Simplifies decisions:

Shared commitment establishes direction. Decision-making is about how to get there, not where to go. When you commit to serve customers first, for example, direction is set. Many decisions follow.

4. Energizes creativity: 

The uncommitted find fault to justify their lack of commitment and promote their own agenda. The power of shared commitment is it drives teams to find ways to move the agenda forward.

Don’t tolerate uncommitted team members. 100% isn’t necessary, but 100% commitment is.

Those who aren’t committed find fault. Those who are committed find a way.

#5. Enables self-evaluation: 

Unwillingness to make commitments is an open door to gullibility. We evaluate ourselves and the course of our leadership based on commitment.

Beginning:

Calling for commitment begins when you help people understand and pursue what THEY want. Shared commitment capitalizes on individual values.

Compliance is forced. Commitment is freely given.

What are the advantages/disadvantages of shared commitment?

How might leaders create shared commitment on teams?

Bonus material:

Relationship Between Commitment and Creativity: a Multi-focal Approach (Academia)

MANAGING HOTHEADS IS LIKE HANDLING RATTLE SNAKES

A helpful post from Dan Rockwell.

Dealing with hotheads is like handling rattle snakes. It’s thrilling if you have proper training and equipment.

Three hot-heads on a team are better than one seething manipulator.

Hotheads express their concerns. Seething backstabbers are like the Energizer Bunny. They keep going and going, but you might never discover their real concerns.

Hotheads tell you what they want. Backstabbers might never tell you what they want and then hold it against you when you don’t give it.

4 reasons people lose their temper:

1. It’s natural. Hot headed leaders blow up quickly and move on just as quickly.

2. It’s bullying. Bullying leaders use anger to pressure people into compliance.

3. It’s unmet need. You need to feel heard, but no one listens – eventually you blow.

Unmet emotional needs eventually find expression in hot emotion.

4. It’s timidity. When people don’t speak up, issues build up until they blow up.

Natural hotheads:

In another life, I worked for a hothead. He got red in the face and yelled when things didn’t go right. In a short time he acted like nothing happened.  My hotheaded boss knew what he wanted and he was decisive.  Natural hotheads are naturally passionate.  I wonder if removing his quick temper might have neutered him.

Hotheads can learn to manage outbursts, but bulging veins and tight lips get their message across. 

Managing rattle snakes:

1. Engage in constructive conversations after hotheads cool down. An outburst opens the door to discuss any tough topic.
2. Acknowledge that hotheads care deeply. How might you better leverage their passion?
3. Teach people to use the duck method. Let outbursts roll off your back. When my hotheaded boss went off, I ignored him.

Leadership development is not just adding another programme!

A great post by Mac Lake - Thanks for being real!

Just Add Water

Those church leaders who are seeking to get better at leadership development tend to look for a “just add water” solution.

“Give me the right program to add to my church.” Or “Give me the right curriculum to add to my ministry.” In other words, give me something so I only have to put in minimal effort.  But the level of difficulty of leadership development isn’t the problem.

Leadership development isn’t difficult. How hard is it to have someone read an article, observe you in action, ask some debrief questions, and then let them give it a try themselves?

The problem is leadership development is messy. And we don’t like that.

Potential leaders come in with different backgrounds, various levels of competency, and their own set of questions.

Their schedules don’t always line up perfectly with ours. They don’t always “get it’ the first time you tell them. You spot character issues you must address. They forget to do their homework. They ask you a question about something you already taught them!  I could go on.

This approach to leadership development isn’t a “just add water” scenario.
So what are the ingredients for developing a leader?

• A big dose of patience and understanding
• An abundant helping of questions 
• Add a lot of time
• Several servings of failure
• And a small pinch of sharing your expertise. 
• Then cook til ready.

You can’t just add water and magically produce a highly competent leader. Each person is unique. Our role is to guide them toward maximizing their God-given calling as a leader. 

4 WAYS TO TAME THE STRESS MONSTER

A Great post by Dan Rockwell!

Stress isn’t a germ you catch from an uncovered sneeze. Stress isn’t a thing. Scientists examine the results of stress, but they can’t examine stress itself.

Stress is a monster that rises inside you.

 4 ways to tame the stress monster:

#1. Understand stress.

Stress is deadly because it’s cumulative.

A friend of mine in banking notices that people are losing it more quickly these days. When you’re stressed about politics, racism, job security, and a pandemic, small things light you up.

You’re stressed because you:

1. Care but aren’t sure what to do.
2. Feel responsible but powerless. If you feel relaxed when the house is on fire, its probably not your house.
3. Try to control things beyond your control.

Stress is inside you, not out there.

#2. Find your power.

Feeling weak is stressful.

Stress is about what you CAN’T do. Power is about what you CAN do.

The ability to choose is at the heart of feeling powerful.

The most important choices are about attitude and response. There are always choices.

#3. Choose how to show up.

Stress is your powerless self saying, “I can’t.”

Show up to care. What does your caring self tell you to do next?

Show up with empathy. How might you show empathy to others? You might be surprised to know that empathy for others lowers stress in you.

#4. Choose to connect.

Stress hates it when you connect with others. I’m learning to seek advice from many sources when the stress monster grips my thinking.

The problem with advice – when you’re stressed – is it usually sounds stupid.

Stress makes you stupid. While stressed, the creative part of your brain shuts down. The best you have are fight, flight, or freeze.

Pay attention when trusted advisors say, “You don’t want to do that.”

Stress invites you to matter less.

What stresses you out?

What suggestions might you offer for taming the stress monster?

Bonus material:

8 Tips for Dealing with the Stress of Leadership (CCL)

10 Ways Strong Leaders Manage Stress (ManagerSkills)

How Chronic Stress Changes the Brain – and What you can do to Reverse the Damage (TheConversation)

Marks of a Healthy Team

Love this!

Everyone would like to be a part of, or lead, a healthy team. But what does a truly healthy team look like and how does such a team function? Ron Edmondson shares 10 phrases that point to a healthy team!

Originally posted by Ron Edmondson

Do you want to be a part of a healthy team?

Marks of a healthy team

Do you like simple?

Maybe we’ve made this more complicated than it has to be. I think there are values we can strive to attain which can help make our teams healthy.

Let’s be honest, in team dynamics – just as in relationships – there are seasons when things are better than other times. But, over the course of months and years we should be able to identify a healthy team. You certainly know one when you serve on one.

I have noticed a few key things which are taking place when I’m on a healthy team.

Here are 10 easy phrases which point to a healthy teams:

1. Relationships matter way more than structures or systems.
2. Titles never determine the importance of a person’s voice.
3. Good communication is highly valued.
4. Conflict is never avoided and used to make the team stronger.
5. Everyone embraces and loves a common interest and goal.
6. A person’s character is as important as their intellect or abilities.
7. The team rallies when times are tough.
8. No one gets all the recognition.
9. Enjoying the journey is part of the plan.
10. There are no minor roles or minor players.

How many does your team score?

Which of these does your team most need to improve upon?

And, if we do it right, we may be able to stop at number one!

4 Ways To Refresh When Your Soul Is Weary

Here is a great post by Dan Reiland. 

1) Know that God is moving, even if it’s hard to see.

A few years back, God said something to me during a prayer time that was one of those moments that you carry for a lifetime.

I was in a hurry that day, so I prayed for a shorter time than usual, and I remember moving quickly as I left my prayer room in the basement. As I was leaving, God spoke clearly, saying, it’s okay for you to go and tend to your work, but I cannot be rushed. I genuinely felt his grace and love and sensed that my prayer time wasn’t measured in minutes, but if I wanted the fullness of His presence, that could not be rushed. Whoa.

Waiting upon God is not always easy, but if you want to know how He is moving, you have to slow down and wait. 

I do too.

When we slow down for time with God, His plans become more clear to us. When God chooses not to make His plans clear, His presence alone is enough, but that process can’t be rushed.

Scripture is loaded with the idea of waiting. A few of my favorites are Psalm 27:14, Isaiah 30:18, and Isaiah 40:29-31.

How might God be moving in your church that you don’t see at the moment?

2) Honesty with God is spiritually healthy. 

If you are frustrated, weary, anxious, even wondering if God is with you in your ministry, it’s good to tell Him. 

If you are wondering about your church’s future, remember it’s His church, and He cares more than you do, so be blunt. Talk to God about exactly how you feel. He can handle it. 

This kind of honest conversation with God usually leads to spiritual self-reflection. It’s in these kinds of prayers that the Holy Spirit often leads me to Psalm 139:23-24:

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139:23-24

Verse 23 uses the word “anxious” (NIV), but you can insert many different words that represent what you are experiencing. 

God will meet you there and often begins with the question, “Why?”

Why are your thoughts so anxious? 

Typically, I’m reminded it’s me, not God, or life’s circumstances, and He meets me there. My hunch is that it may be similar with you as well. 

This process leads to great peace, and your leadership burden becomes lighter because you remember you don’t carry it alone.

3) Figure out where you will get your water. 

Desert times, weary times, dry times can leave any leader thirsty. And we can choose to “get our water” or quench our thirst from a number of different sources. 

Obviously, God is our primary source.  

No one and no thing satisfies to the depth that God does. But in His kindness and according to the design of His creation, God gives us room to be human and allows us to be refreshed in several ways. 

But let’s first acknowledge a few ways that may seem like they satisfy the soul but don’t. 

• Working harder – Hard work is good, but working harder to fill an inner void is not healthy. 
• Gaining approval from others – The approval that matters most is from God and a small inner circle. 
• Changing how you measure success – Lowering standards may make you feel better in the short term, but over time, it’s only changed lives that matter.
• Justifying drift – Pressure can make any leader justify unacceptable actions. Drift from God can lower pressure, but it will not increase peace.
• Unhealthy diversions – Unhealthy diversions may feel good in the moment but can become addictions and should be avoided at all costs. 

God has made room for your thirst to be refreshed, your soul satisfied, and your weariness to be lifted through ways such as:

• The richness of friendships
• The joy of laughter
• The pleasure of a hobby you enjoy
• The need for physical rest
• The satisfaction of learning and growth

Again, nothing meets your deepest needs like God Himself, but don’t miss out on all that He provides.

4) It’s a great time to deepen relational roots. 

In my perspective, everything comes down to relationships. 

The first relationship began in the garden with Adam but became broken. It was restored through a relational covenant with Abraham and ultimately offered to all of us through a personal relationship with Jesus.  

It’s a foundational biblical truth that relationships are key to our well-being. 

Whenever you face a difficult time, a leadership weary time, or possibly a spiritually dry time, a refreshed and a renewed sense of well-being comes from strengthened relationships.

Pause for inventory and investment in your closest relationships:

• God
• Family
• Friends
• Colleagues 

Is there just one that could use your attention today?