HOW TO STOP TELLING PEOPLE WHAT TO DO

Traditional managers expect compliance. Coaching-managers expect engagement, creativity, responsibility, and ownership.

People who have been controlled often prefer compliance over participation.

“Just tell me what to do,” is a cop out.

Some prefer being controlled to the responsibility of controlling themselves.

It’s easier and safer to be told what to do than to figure it out yourself.

Controlling managers:

1. Place themselves in the center.
2. Create helplessness in others. The more compliance you expect the more helplessness you create.
3. Enjoy giving permission.
4. Stifle creativity.
5. Punish mistakes.
6. Complain about disengaged employees.
7. Feel stress that comes from trying to control things that can’t be controlled.

Bonus: Controlling managers create bottlenecks.

Coaching managers:

1. Place others in the center.
2. Give power.
3. Expect initiative.
4. Tap creativity.
5. Use mistakes as growth opportunities.
6. Celebrate engagement, effort, and progress.
7. Believe others must control themselves. Compliance isn’t engagement.

Bonus: Coaching-managers enhance the results of others.

Overcoming resistance:

Transitioning from controlling management to coaching feels awkward to employees.

What if an employee says, “You have more experience. Just tell me what to do.”

How to coach through resistance to being coached:

1. What feels good about having me tell you what to do?
2. How might developing your own solutions be useful?
3. What would you suggest we try? Be sure several options are on the table before they choose a path forward.
4. Which option energizes you?
5. How can you take the next steps?
6. Your development is more important than taking the quick way.
7. We’re different people, what works for me may not work for you.

Not always:

Coaching isn’t a cure all. The choice to tell or advise is still on the table.

The ultimate goal of coaching is developing and leveraging the potential of others. But, sometimes the need for quick results takes precedence over development.

The Artist

A great Post by John Fischer

You've heard the story of the young kindergartener who, when asked by her teacher what she was going to create for her art project proudly announced she was going to draw a picture of God. To which the teacher announced, "But no one knows what God looks like." "They will in a minute," came the bold reply. Perhaps I like this so much because it reminds me of my own daughter, who, at about the same age, when confronted by the teacher about using her brush improperly, replied, "Well, I'm the artist!" Their both right, you know. The kindergartner is about to paint what God looks like to her, in her imagination, and she will be right because she is the artist. Not that God is relative to everyone's idea of Him, but that He is so multifaceted that no one picture can capture all of Him, nor can all of the pictures together make Him up. It is the picture painted by all of us that brings Him great glory. That's why He made us. Think on this today: We bring God to people, not only because are we are in His image, but because He dwells in us by faith. What I love most assuredly about these statement is the audacity with which they are delivered. "Oh, they'll know all right, because I am about to reveal Him to them," and, as Anne said, in case there's any doubt, "I'm the artist." Would that we were all as confident about our ability to represent Christ to the world. You can be, you know, because you are the artist. This was a major part of Christ's role while on earth-to represent God to the world. "He who has seen me has seen the Father." Our task is no less significant. If part of Jesus' purpose was to reveal God to us, part of ours is to reveal Jesus to others. "Christ in you, the hope of glory," Paul wrote. What a great thing to focus on as we prepare to do anything -- go anywhere -- see anybody... "No one knows what God looks like?" we can say to ourselves, "But they will in a minute... because I'm the artist."