The real priority of leadership: Humility

Humble leadership in practice

1. Judge people by their strengths, not yours.
2. Understand that success depends on understanding, releasing, focusing and developing talent in others.
3. Know yourself through habitual self-reflection.
4. Understand how others perceive you. A disconnect between the way you see yourself and others see you indicates lack of self-awareness.
5. Thank people when they share their insights and provide feedback. Painful feedback is good.
6. Expect people to be their best. The guiding term is “their” best.
7. Create environments that nurture and protect excellence. Expect the most from yourself.

Bonus: The uncomfortable truth of surrounding yourself with people who are smarter than you is you become the dumbest person at the table, unless you’re a know it all.

Pass The Salt

This is a must watch - So good!

12 Ways to Move From Powerless to Powerful

A great post by Dan Rockwell.

Frustration is connected to feeling powerless. You wouldn’t be angry if you had the power to change it.

People who feel powerless respond with frustration to opportunity, difficulty, challenge and uncertainty.

Power:

Power is the ability to change something.

Even weak people have power.

Weak people use dark-power to make things worse.

Dark-power:

1. Backstabbing.
2. Undermining.
3. Gossip.
4. Distracting and diluting focus.
5. Pulling back.
6. Deception.
7. Sabotage.

Successful leaders use power to make things better.

12 ways to move from powerless to powerful:

1. Say yes selectively. How will saying yes move you and your organization forward. If you aren’t sure, say no.
2. Learn to say no with compassion, but don’t come off angry, resistant, or reluctant. Say no to activities that collide with your values, priorities, mission, and vision. If you’re saying no to indulge yourself you’re losing power not gaining it.
3. Focus on things within your control – yourself, your responses, and your immediate environment. Ask, “Can we control this,” if not, let it go and move on.
4. Be grateful when others serve you. Gratitude increases your power and empowers others.
5. Expect people on the team to step up. When they don’t, encourage, reassign, marginalize, or replace them.
6. Talk about tough stuff. Just bring it up, compassionately.
7. Say what you really think, kindly. Pretending drains power.
8. Believe you can make something better. Power is part perception. If you were powerful, how would you act? Act that way.
9. Find a new channel of service. Make the lives of others better. Solve a problem.
10. Relax. Frantic thoughts and frazzled emotions move you toward powerlessness.
11. See strength in others, but don’t minimize your own.
12. Just move toward better. Don’t fix everything.

How can leaders help others move toward feeling powerful?

What do you do when you start to feel powerless?

Your Pain Often Reveals God’s Purpose

A great post by Rick Warren. 

“God comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things.” (2 Corinthians 1:4, 6 NLT)

Your pain often reveals God’s purpose for you. God never wastes a hurt! If you’ve gone through a hurt, he wants you to help other people going through that same hurt. He wants you to share it. God can use the problems in your life to give you a ministry to others. In fact, the very thing you’re most ashamed of in your life and resent the most could become your greatest ministry in helping other people.

Who can better help somebody going through a bankruptcy than somebody who went through a bankruptcy? Who can better help somebody struggling with an addiction than somebody who’s struggled with an addiction? Who can better help parents of a special needs child than parents who raised a special needs child? Who can better help somebody who’s lost a child than somebody who lost a child?
The very thing you hate the most in your life is what God wants to use for good in your life.

The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 1, verses 4 and 6, “God comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things” (NLT).

This is called redemptive suffering. Redemptive suffering is when you go through a problem or a pain for the benefit of others. This is what Jesus did. When Jesus died on the cross, he didn’t deserve to die. He went through that pain for your benefit so that you can be saved and go to Heaven.

There are many different causes for the problems, pains, and suffering in your life. Sometimes the stuff that happens you bring on yourself. When you make stupid decisions, then it causes pain in your life. If you go out and overspend and buy things you can’t afford and presume on the future, and then you go deeply in debt and lose your house, you can’t say, “God, why did you let me lose my house?” You can’t blame God for your bad choices.

But in some of your problems, you’re innocent. You’ve been hurt by the pain, stupidity, and sins of other people. And some of the pain in your life is for redemptive suffering. God often allows us to go through a problem so that we can then help others.

Talk It Over

• What are some of the problems in your life that you have questioned God about or wondered why they had to happen to you?
• How could you use your painful experience to minister to others?

The issue of Delegation

This is an excellent post - Thanks to Dave Kraft

Excellent Ideas From Matt Perman on Delegation

 

Delegation is a lost art today among leaders. Too many do too much and are not trained enough and secure enough to entrust decision-making authority to other capable leaders.

Here is Matt Perman sharing five components of effective delegation. Matt is the best selling author of, “What’s Best Next.” A book which I very highly recommend. His book is the best out there on how to anchor energy and time stewardship in a gospel centered way.

Originally posted on the Catalyst website by Matt Perman


With so many things on our to-do lists and so many new things coming at us every day, how do we stay above water as leaders?   


One common answer is delegation. That’s good advice, but it’s often incomplete. The problem is that we often aren’t taught how to delegate effectively. As a result, when we finally overcome the mistake of not delegating at all, we easily end up making the other mistake of delegating in the wrong way. Unfortunately, this mistake can be even worse! Bad delegation results in frustration, confusion, and discouragement for the people we delegate to.

So how do we delegate in a way that works? That is, what does real delegation actually look like, and how do we do it?

That first thing to know is that real delegation is above all based on a philosophy, rather than a series of steps. The philosophy is simply this: respect for the individual. Since people are created in the image of God and have incredible intrinsic worth, they are always to be treated in accord with that worth (even when delegating!).

Practically speaking, this means that our aim in delegation should not just be to the get the tasks done.

It should be to build up the other person through the accomplishment of the tasks.

Real delegation is about more than just the tasks; it’s about the people and the tasks.

When our aim is to build up the other person through the tasks that they are delegated, we treat the other person as they ought to be treated and  create far better results. For this type of delegation is motivating, instills ownership, and ultimately increases the capacity of the entire organization.


With this philosophy of delegation in place, how do you delegate in a way that gets the tasks done and builds people up in the process? You do this by communicating five things.

 1. Desired Results

These are the things that need to be accomplished. This is the most important thing because the person won’t be able to get anything done if they don’t know what they need to do in the first place. But note that these are the what—not the how. For example, when I call up the local sandwich shop to order a sub, I ask for a #2 (roast beef) and tell them my address. I don’t tell them how to make it, how to get to my house, or how fast they should drive. Likewise, the key to delegating in an empowering and motivating way that instills ownership is to make sure the outcomes are clear while preserving as much freedom as possible for the person to find their own way to accomplish those ends.

 2. Guidelines

Of course, while you want to preserve as much freedom as possible, it’s not enough just to tell the person what is needed and give no other guidance. There are often standards that are essential to accomplishing the task effectively. So, give the guidelines and point out any wrong turns they should be aware of. But note that you are giving guidelines, not detailed rules. You aren’t determining methods; you are showing the broad parameters that will help them to be effective. Also make sure that they are truly empowered—they need to know that they are free to do whatever it takes to accomplish the desired results, within the guidelines.

 3. Resources

This step is often skipped in delegation. Let the person know what is at their disposal, such as the budget available (if relevant) and additional personnel.

 4. Accountability

You don’t need to define accountability for every task delegated—that would get tiresome. Accountability just needs to be in place for the overall context of the relationship. This means knowing what the standards of performance are and when the regular reviews are.

 5. Consequences

Again, this doesn’t have to be defined for every specific task, but simply as part of the larger framework of the relationship. This would include both the good outcomes if the accountability is fulfilled and what will happen if it isn’t. Positive outcomes might include increased responsibility, promotions, financial rewards, natural consequences, and so forth.

It is true that delegation means that some things will be done less efficiently—at first. But it is worth it, because the aim is not just efficiency, but building people up. By building people up in this way through delegation, you increase the capacity of the entire organization for the long term—which is always both more efficient and effective.


Matt Perman is former director of strategy at Desiring God and author of  What’s Best Next: How the Gospel Transforms the Way You Get Things Done. He blogs at www.whatsbestnext.com and lives in Minneapolis. Twitter: @mattperman ​

Who needs discipline?

A brilliant post by Dave Kraft (Leadership from the heart) A must read for the person committed to the leadership journey for the long haul.

Discipline, the Flagship Virtue

Okay, today we’re going to deal with the subject that many don’t like to think about, but most of us need to work on.   DISCIPLINE!  Wait! Wait!  Before you close this and move on, discipline yourself for five minutes and keep reading. You can do this.
 

In some quarters the subject of discipline is treated with loathing and disdain and is suspect of flying in the face of the gospel!  Yet scripture is explicitly clear on the subject: In the quintessential passage on leadership, I Timothy 3, verse 2 we find the words self-control.  In the second most referenced chapter on leadership, Titus 1, we read: “He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined.”  Much of this screams discipline!
 

“In a race, everyone runs but only one person gets first prize. So run your race to win. To win the contest you must deny yourselves many things that would keep you from doing your best.  An athlete goes to all this trouble just to win a blue ribbon or a silver cup, but we do it for a heavenly reward that never disappears. So I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step. I fight to win. I’m not just shadow boxing or playing around. Like an athlete, I punish my body, treating it roughly, training it to do what it should, not what it wants to. Otherwise I fear that after enlisting others for the race, I myself might be declared unfit and ordered to stand aside.” I Corinthians 9:24-27 (The Living Bible) Emphasis added.  “The road to life is a disciplined life; ignore correction and you’re lost for good.” Proverb 10:17 (The Message) Emphasis added.
 

The longer I live, the more I’m convinced of the need for discipline in the leader’s life. In actuality, the road to anything and anywhere of significance is paved with the asphalt of discipline. Any leader trying to pursue anything will need to learn discipline in:

Time

Money

Emotions

Exercise

Eyes

Ears

Eating

speech

You can add a few of your own to this list

My former co-worker, Scott Thomas, said this in a recent tweet: “Just because you have an opinion doesn’t mean you have to share it.” I thought long and hard on that and then added this for myself: Just because you have an emotion doesn’t mean you need to show it. Both of these have to do with discipline--of my tongue and of my emotions.


How many leaders have you known, read about, or heard about who disqualified themselves over the lack of self-discipline? How many leaders have fallen well short of their potential in making a significant contribution over the lack of self-discipline? How many leaders in their 40s or 50s are in such poor health due to the lack of self-discipline that they are not able to continue to minister with energy, joy and enthusiasm? And yet we are clearly and categorically told that one of the qualifications for leadership is self-control and discipline. We ignore this clear admonition at our own peril.


Look again at the list above. 


How about picking just one of these and making it a focus and priority for the next six months? In what area do you desire and need God’s grace?


Don’t think in terms of perfection but of progress through the enabling of the Holy Spirit and a few good friends to hold your feet to the fire.


Set some goals. Make yourself accountable. Memorize some passages of scripture. Depend on the life-changing power of the Holy Spirit. Pray focused and regularly about this one area. Watch what God does!

7 Payments to Passion October

This is a brilliant post and a must read!  Thanks to Dan Rockwell.

 

The trouble with passion is the cost. Telling people to follow their passion is irrelevant in a world where they actually do.

The deeper question isn’t what’s your passion, it’s what are you willing to pay.

Passion is good, even essential, but it takes more than passion to succeed.

7 payments to passion:

1. Failure. The possibility of painful failure is the price of passion. Those unwilling to pay fade into oblivion.
2. Investment. Passion gives energy but it also demands energy. Invest your energy in your passion and it gives energy in return. Neglect passion and energy declines.
3. Restriction. The more passionate you are the narrower you become. The opportunity of passion is it’s power to enable “No” with clarity and conviction. Lack of focus destroys passion.
4. Action. Action fuels passion like gas fuels fire. The more action you take the hotter passion grows. Apart from action, passion turns into frustration and eventually depressing ambivalence.
5. Approval. When you act on passion, friends try to fuel or cool your passion. Many are perfectly content to let others waste life.
6. Control. Passionate people are control freaks.
7. Trust. The price of taking passion to the next level is building a team – trusting others. The roadblock to trust is the conviction that others don’t have as much passion as you.

Passion is good but _______ is better:

1. Grit.
2. Commitment.
3. Integrity.
4. Action.
5. Character.
6. Purpose.
7. Dedication.
8. Tenacity.
9. Persistence.
10. Discipline.

Passion makes the previous list relevant. Thanks to Facebook fans for filling in the blank. More on the Leadership Coffee Shop.

Lots of people want something but only those willing to pay move toward getting it. Those who refuse to pay grow frustrated.

Anger is paralyzed passion that won’t pay the price of responsibility.

Passion, when put into action, offends mediocrity.

What does passion cost?

With every act of love we bring the kingdom come

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Kryptonite: The Thing That Weakens Leadership

An excellent post by Dan Rockwell

Kryptonite is mythical material from Krypton that drained Superman of his superpowers.

The belief that self-evaluation trumps the evaluation of those directly impacted by your leadership weakens your leadership. What you think of your leadership isn’t as important as what others think.

Leadership is about others.

The people around you know what they think of your leadership. But, when they’re “wrong” you marginalize their feedback and move on.

Minimizing the perception of others gives you permission to ignore them.

Leaders who spout, “I don’t care what you think,” are asses. They often don’t have the courage or honesty to face hard truths about themselves.

You’re not as great as you think.

You have one or two outstanding leadership qualities. Anything beyond that and you reached divine status.

Benefit and danger:

The benefit of over-estimating your strength is the courage to try big things. The danger of over-estimating your strength is ignoring others.

10 ways to solve the kryptonite problem:

1. Keep your big ego to yourself. Don’t talk about self-confidence. Self-confident leaders express confidence in others.
2. If you are a leader with confidence, you aren’t as great as you think. (Meditate on that.)
3. Say thank you when receiving feedback.
4. Celebrate the strengths of others. Great leaders see greatness in others.
5. When someone says, “You seem harsh,” for example, believe them.
6. Treat others as more significant than yourself.
7. The people around you are reluctant to tell you the brutal truth, even when you invite it. Work hard to get feedback.
8. Listen to those who share your values and commitment to your organization.
9. Listen to those who are committed to your success.
10. Keep saying to yourself, “I could be wrong.” Keep asking others, “What do you think?”

You need enough ego to believe you matter but not so much that you ignore others.

Essentials for Developing Leaders

A great post by Dam Rockwell.

It hurts when those around you don’t believe in you. Leaders sell themselves short when they undervalue those around them.

The first step toward leadership is believing you matter; believing in someone else is the second.

The greatest opportunity of leadership, after developing yourself, is developing those who aspire to lead.

3 enemies of development:

The enemies of development are personal ease, coddling by others, and education without experience.

Growth hurts.

McCall, Lombardo and Eichinger’s survey of high-performing managers revealed the most effective way to develop others is to challenge them. 90% of development happens in real life, 10% from books and in classrooms.

1. 70% from tough jobs.
2. 20% from people (mostly the boss).
3. 10% from courses and reading.

Bill Hybels offered five ways to develop leaders in his 2014 Global Leadership Summit presentation.

5 essentials for developing remarkable leaders:

1. Put them in high-challenge roles.
2. Assign them to a short-term task force.
3. Give real-time feedback.
4. Provide them with coaches and mentors.
5. Offer them classroom courses and seminars.

The best way to develop emerging leaders is to put them in short-term high-challenge roles.

Growth requires you do what you have’t done before.

Hybels went on to describe five ways to design short-term tasks that develop leaders.

5 marks of developmental tasks:

1. Success or failure must both be possible.
2. Emerging leader must have full charge.
3. Must work with a large variety of people.
4. Must have real pressures and a deadline.
5. End result must be evaluated by a senior leader.

Frustration:

Frustration in stretch-assignments is normal. Don’t help too quick. But, frustration that hampers performance indicates:

1. Too little preparation.
2. Confusion about results.
3. Misalignment of strengths with tasks.
4. Meddling by senior leaders.
5. Not enough support.

Surrender

The captain of the ship looked into the dark night and saw faint lights in the distance. Immediately he told his signalman to send a message" "Alter your course 10 degrees south." Promptly a return message was received: "Alter your course 10 degrees north."

The captain was angered; his command had been ignored. So he sent a second message: "Alter your course 10 degrees south--I am the captain!" Soon another message was received: "Alter your course 10 degrees north--I am seaman third class Jones."

Immediately the captain sent a third message, knowing the fear it would evoke: "Alter your course 10 degrees south--I am a battleship." Then the reply came "Alter your course 10 degrees north--I am a lighthouse." - Paul Aiello, Jr.

There are many people who want full control of their life. They refuse to surrender to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. When we don’t listen to God’s instruction in our lives …WE CRASH! If that ship’s Captain refused to alter his course he would have crashed right into the rocks below the light.

YOU?

he Three Most Dangerous Mistakes Leaders Make

Patrick Lencioni was asked to present at the Global Leadership Summit 2014 (#GLS2014) on the biggest mistakes leaders make. Here’s what he said

#1. Becoming a leader for the wrong reason.

“Most people want to be known as the person who changed the world. That’s a very dangerous reason to become a leader. People should want to become a leader because they want to sacrifice themselves for the good of others even when they know there is no ROI.” Patrick Lencioni at (#GLS2014)

      To aspire to lead is to aspire to serve.

“I’m tired of hearing about servant leadership, because I don’t think there is any other kind.” Lencioni #GLS2014

#2. Failing to embrace vulnerability.

1. I don’t think you can be too vulnerable as a leader.
2. People don’t want leaders to be perfect, they want leaders to be human.
3. When you as a leader can be genuinely butt naked with people, then they will walk through walls of fire for you.

#3. Making leadership too important.

“Ask your family – do you think that I think my job is more important than you?” Lencioni #GLS2014

The greatest loss of leadership is losing yourself to your role.

Which leadership mistakes are most dangerous?

Happy leaders stand out

This is an excellent post that every leader should read!

Anyone can be a sour puss. Some leaders are just too important to smile.

Sad faces don’t inspire confidence.

Organizations reflect their leaders!  

Successful leaders smile even while facing serious challenges.

Sad leaders are:

1. Self-important.
2. Isolated.
3. Power hungry.
4. Controlling.
5. Distrustful.

Organizations reflect their leaders. Unhappy leaders build unhappy organizations.

Smiling:

There’s no rule that says the more important you are the sadder you have to look.

Dan Berger and Anthony Demangone talk about smiling leadership while we discussed their new book, “Managing and Leading Well.”

7 ways to smile more:

1. “You have to enjoy people,” Berger. Enjoy people because they’re human beings. It doesn’t matter if you like everything about them. Enjoy them.
2. “Trust your team,” Demangone, “My job is to bring out the best in others.” Trusting the team frees leaders to enjoy the process.
3. Care for people. “I have an obligation to find out what keeps our CEO’s up at night,” Berger
4. Connect with people. Both Dan and Anthony talked about management by walking around. Find out what’s happening on the Little League team or in their family life.
5. “Bring enthusiasm to problem solving. There’s a lot of room for fun in solving challenges.” Demangone.
6. “Talk about having fun. You’ll reach a point where it’s self-reinforcing.” Dan & Anthony.
7. “We have a no asshole rule here. If you hire one you just became the biggest one.” Berger

Fun doesn’t have to be frivolous or irresponsible even in financial institutions.

How can leaders build happy organizational cultures?

Check out, “Managing and Leading Well – It Ain’t Rocket Science, But it’s Still Hard Work!” It focuses on leaders in financial institutions but has application for all leaders.

Choosing a Spouse

Wow - Pastor Rick just says it as it is!!  What are your thoughts?

 

“The righteous choose their friends carefully.” (Proverbs 12:26a NIV)

If you’re supposed to choose your friends carefully, you should be even more careful about who’s going to be your life partner. Notice it is a choice. God doesn’t do this for you. God says you make the choice. God leads us, God guides us, and God gives us guidelines. But ultimately, it’s your choice.

However, many people believe the myth that there is only one right person for them.
That’s very romantic, but it’s just not true. It’s also not biblical. And it’s not even logical! If there were only one right person for everybody in the world, it would only take one person to make a wrong decision and break the chain for everybody else.

Let’s say I was supposed to marry a woman named Susan. Instead, I marry Kay. Then all of a sudden, it upsets the apple cart for everybody else on the entire planet! It is a total myth. It’s romantic, but it’s a myth.
In your life there are multiple people God would say it’s OK for you to marry. There are millions that he would absolutely rule out, but there are multiple opportunities that God would say “OK” to. It’s your choice. It’s your preference.

There’s another myth that many people believe: Love alone is enough reason to marry.
I talk to people all the time who are getting married. I look at them and think, “There’s no way.” The family background isn’t right. The spiritual background isn’t right. The personalities aren’t right. They don’t have the same amount of energy or ambition. They don’t even have the same values and goals. But, they “love each other …”

Just because you love someone does not mean you should marry that person.  God doesn’t tell you who to marry. But he does give you a description of the kind of person that he desires for you to marry. If you want God’s blessing and protection on your marriage and you want success in your marriage, then you need to listen to what God has to say about the kind of person you should marry.

Talk It Over

• What are the right reasons to get married?
• When do you think is the best time to consider what God wants you to look for in a partner?

To Build or Not To Build?

A great post by by Jody Forehand.  Ask yourself these questions before you build.

Oftentimes I have found when touring a church facility that they have a very inefficient layout and that some simple first steps could buy them more time and create “space” for growth. Sometimes this has little to do with the building or site, and everything to do with programming or tradition.

If you are only offering one worship service and you are out of space, the obvious answer is to add another service and instantly you have doubled your capacity without building a square foot of new space. I’ve heard some churches push back and say that they can’t do this because they would no longer see all their friends, but if your church’s goal is in alignment with Jesus’ command to reach the unchurched then this won’t be an issue.

Other times programming for children or adults can result in supposed space issues. As a preacher’s kid I grew up going to Sunday School every week, but there is nothing more inefficient than a building carved up with dozens of small single-use classrooms that sit empty all but 1-2 hours a week. At current construction prices, can anyone really justify this as good stewardship? Multi-function group rooms with some small group breakout spaces can achieve similar results in less space for less money. Adult small groups meeting at other times of the week either on site or in people’s homes can also not only solve your space problem but increase your impact in the community.

If none of these scenarios apply to you, the next question to ask is, “Do we really need to enlarge our facility or can we just reconfigure it?” Churches, especially older ones, typically grew up haphazardly with addition after addition and little foresight or planning for the future. The result of this is usually a maze of confusion for visitors and tons of inefficient space. A good designer can help you review your actual needs and come up with a phased renovation plan to help you get the most usable space out of your current building, while planning for future growth and expansion. Pairing up a good designer with a good builder ensures your renovation will be cost-effective allowing your church to grow and save for larger facility needs such as a new building in a future phase.

Renovation is not the answer to every building need, but after implementing programming changes, it is usually the least expensive and simplest way to buy some more time. To quote Mark Twain, “To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” Many design-builders take that approach. However, Visioneering is interested in answering the “To Build or Not to Build” question first, and we have more tools in our toolbox than hammers. Our team of experienced staff with backgrounds as architects, designers, planners, construction managers, developers, facility managers, and financial analysts are our human resource tools that each can bring potential solutions from various viewpoints. Our alignment process, facility assessment capabilities, Strategic Feasibility Plan reports, and “Blue Sky” planning process are some of the other tools we have in our tool belt. Bringing all these resources together we can help your church determine if you should move, stay, renovate, expand, tear down, build new, or do nothing…and whether to do it now, three years from now, or never. We’d rather tell you up front that your best option for now is to add a second service and grow than to sell you on a bigger building that you may never fill up or be able to afford. Before you commit your church to a project that might not be needed, spend some time getting philosophical with us first. To build or not to build, that is the question.
This is a sponsored post from Visioneering Studios

Incredible Bass guitarist - love it!

How relevant are you? R

This is a brilliant talk on relevace by John Maxwell

Anger Yields Anger, Wisdom Yields Patience

A great post by Rick Warren

 

“A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” (Proverbs 19:11 NIV)

Hurt people hurt people. When someone hurts you, it’s because they’ve been hurt. Unkind people have never felt kindness. Unloving people feel unloved. When someone is rude, bitter, unkind, sarcastic, mean spirited, or arrogant, they are shouting with all of their behaviors, “I am in pain! I need massive doses of love! I do not feel secure!”

On the other hand, the person who feels deeply loved and deeply secure is generous and gracious to other people.

If we just want to get even with people, that’s fine. But it means we’re no better than they are. The Bible tells us to overcome evil with good. This means, we respond with love. It means we look past their words to their pain.

Here’s a myth that everybody’s been sold by modern psychology: When it comes to anger, there’s only a set amount you’ll get throughput your life. It’s like you’ve got a bucket for anger, and when the bucket gets full, you need to pour it out — and that will be cathartic.

The problem is, you don’t have a bucket of anger in your life. You have a factory! That factory can keep on producing and producing and producing. When you get rid of the anger, you’ll just produce more.
In fact, the more anger you throw out, the more it produces. Study after study has shown that aggression only creates more aggression. Angry outbursts lead to more anger, more often, until it becomes a habitual pattern in your life.

The answer is not just to throw it out. The answer is to let it go. “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11 NIV).

Talk About It

• Why do you think it is so hard for us to let things go, particularly with the people we love most?
• If you fill your life with love, what will overflow from your life?

A growing church must multiply it's small groups

Why?  You might ask.

As the New Testament church grew it is recorded for us that they not only met in the temple courts but went from 'house to house'.  The home is the centre of family life and love, of good conversation, of great food, a place of discipleship and learning, a place of sharing, of giving, of safety of joy and of peace.  

I believe there are four advantages of meeting with other Christians in small groups as the church grows:

It is infinitely expandable

It is unlimited geographically.

It is good stewardship.

It promotes relationships

There is great benefit and wisdom in God’s way of multiplying small groups.  As a result, the Bible says that the Lord added to their number daily those that were being saved.