HOW TO STOP TELLING PEOPLE WHAT TO DO

Traditional managers expect compliance. Coaching-managers expect engagement, creativity, responsibility, and ownership.

People who have been controlled often prefer compliance over participation.

“Just tell me what to do,” is a cop out.

Some prefer being controlled to the responsibility of controlling themselves.

It’s easier and safer to be told what to do than to figure it out yourself.

Controlling managers:

1. Place themselves in the center.
2. Create helplessness in others. The more compliance you expect the more helplessness you create.
3. Enjoy giving permission.
4. Stifle creativity.
5. Punish mistakes.
6. Complain about disengaged employees.
7. Feel stress that comes from trying to control things that can’t be controlled.

Bonus: Controlling managers create bottlenecks.

Coaching managers:

1. Place others in the center.
2. Give power.
3. Expect initiative.
4. Tap creativity.
5. Use mistakes as growth opportunities.
6. Celebrate engagement, effort, and progress.
7. Believe others must control themselves. Compliance isn’t engagement.

Bonus: Coaching-managers enhance the results of others.

Overcoming resistance:

Transitioning from controlling management to coaching feels awkward to employees.

What if an employee says, “You have more experience. Just tell me what to do.”

How to coach through resistance to being coached:

1. What feels good about having me tell you what to do?
2. How might developing your own solutions be useful?
3. What would you suggest we try? Be sure several options are on the table before they choose a path forward.
4. Which option energizes you?
5. How can you take the next steps?
6. Your development is more important than taking the quick way.
7. We’re different people, what works for me may not work for you.

Not always:

Coaching isn’t a cure all. The choice to tell or advise is still on the table.

The ultimate goal of coaching is developing and leveraging the potential of others. But, sometimes the need for quick results takes precedence over development.

The Artist

A great Post by John Fischer

You've heard the story of the young kindergartener who, when asked by her teacher what she was going to create for her art project proudly announced she was going to draw a picture of God. To which the teacher announced, "But no one knows what God looks like." "They will in a minute," came the bold reply. Perhaps I like this so much because it reminds me of my own daughter, who, at about the same age, when confronted by the teacher about using her brush improperly, replied, "Well, I'm the artist!" Their both right, you know. The kindergartner is about to paint what God looks like to her, in her imagination, and she will be right because she is the artist. Not that God is relative to everyone's idea of Him, but that He is so multifaceted that no one picture can capture all of Him, nor can all of the pictures together make Him up. It is the picture painted by all of us that brings Him great glory. That's why He made us. Think on this today: We bring God to people, not only because are we are in His image, but because He dwells in us by faith. What I love most assuredly about these statement is the audacity with which they are delivered. "Oh, they'll know all right, because I am about to reveal Him to them," and, as Anne said, in case there's any doubt, "I'm the artist." Would that we were all as confident about our ability to represent Christ to the world. You can be, you know, because you are the artist. This was a major part of Christ's role while on earth-to represent God to the world. "He who has seen me has seen the Father." Our task is no less significant. If part of Jesus' purpose was to reveal God to us, part of ours is to reveal Jesus to others. "Christ in you, the hope of glory," Paul wrote. What a great thing to focus on as we prepare to do anything -- go anywhere -- see anybody... "No one knows what God looks like?" we can say to ourselves, "But they will in a minute... because I'm the artist."

The real priority of leadership: Humility

Humble leadership in practice

1. Judge people by their strengths, not yours.
2. Understand that success depends on understanding, releasing, focusing and developing talent in others.
3. Know yourself through habitual self-reflection.
4. Understand how others perceive you. A disconnect between the way you see yourself and others see you indicates lack of self-awareness.
5. Thank people when they share their insights and provide feedback. Painful feedback is good.
6. Expect people to be their best. The guiding term is “their” best.
7. Create environments that nurture and protect excellence. Expect the most from yourself.

Bonus: The uncomfortable truth of surrounding yourself with people who are smarter than you is you become the dumbest person at the table, unless you’re a know it all.

Pass The Salt

This is a must watch - So good!

12 Ways to Move From Powerless to Powerful

A great post by Dan Rockwell.

Frustration is connected to feeling powerless. You wouldn’t be angry if you had the power to change it.

People who feel powerless respond with frustration to opportunity, difficulty, challenge and uncertainty.

Power:

Power is the ability to change something.

Even weak people have power.

Weak people use dark-power to make things worse.

Dark-power:

1. Backstabbing.
2. Undermining.
3. Gossip.
4. Distracting and diluting focus.
5. Pulling back.
6. Deception.
7. Sabotage.

Successful leaders use power to make things better.

12 ways to move from powerless to powerful:

1. Say yes selectively. How will saying yes move you and your organization forward. If you aren’t sure, say no.
2. Learn to say no with compassion, but don’t come off angry, resistant, or reluctant. Say no to activities that collide with your values, priorities, mission, and vision. If you’re saying no to indulge yourself you’re losing power not gaining it.
3. Focus on things within your control – yourself, your responses, and your immediate environment. Ask, “Can we control this,” if not, let it go and move on.
4. Be grateful when others serve you. Gratitude increases your power and empowers others.
5. Expect people on the team to step up. When they don’t, encourage, reassign, marginalize, or replace them.
6. Talk about tough stuff. Just bring it up, compassionately.
7. Say what you really think, kindly. Pretending drains power.
8. Believe you can make something better. Power is part perception. If you were powerful, how would you act? Act that way.
9. Find a new channel of service. Make the lives of others better. Solve a problem.
10. Relax. Frantic thoughts and frazzled emotions move you toward powerlessness.
11. See strength in others, but don’t minimize your own.
12. Just move toward better. Don’t fix everything.

How can leaders help others move toward feeling powerful?

What do you do when you start to feel powerless?

Your Pain Often Reveals God’s Purpose

A great post by Rick Warren. 

“God comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things.” (2 Corinthians 1:4, 6 NLT)

Your pain often reveals God’s purpose for you. God never wastes a hurt! If you’ve gone through a hurt, he wants you to help other people going through that same hurt. He wants you to share it. God can use the problems in your life to give you a ministry to others. In fact, the very thing you’re most ashamed of in your life and resent the most could become your greatest ministry in helping other people.

Who can better help somebody going through a bankruptcy than somebody who went through a bankruptcy? Who can better help somebody struggling with an addiction than somebody who’s struggled with an addiction? Who can better help parents of a special needs child than parents who raised a special needs child? Who can better help somebody who’s lost a child than somebody who lost a child?
The very thing you hate the most in your life is what God wants to use for good in your life.

The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 1, verses 4 and 6, “God comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things” (NLT).

This is called redemptive suffering. Redemptive suffering is when you go through a problem or a pain for the benefit of others. This is what Jesus did. When Jesus died on the cross, he didn’t deserve to die. He went through that pain for your benefit so that you can be saved and go to Heaven.

There are many different causes for the problems, pains, and suffering in your life. Sometimes the stuff that happens you bring on yourself. When you make stupid decisions, then it causes pain in your life. If you go out and overspend and buy things you can’t afford and presume on the future, and then you go deeply in debt and lose your house, you can’t say, “God, why did you let me lose my house?” You can’t blame God for your bad choices.

But in some of your problems, you’re innocent. You’ve been hurt by the pain, stupidity, and sins of other people. And some of the pain in your life is for redemptive suffering. God often allows us to go through a problem so that we can then help others.

Talk It Over

• What are some of the problems in your life that you have questioned God about or wondered why they had to happen to you?
• How could you use your painful experience to minister to others?

The issue of Delegation

This is an excellent post - Thanks to Dave Kraft

Excellent Ideas From Matt Perman on Delegation

 

Delegation is a lost art today among leaders. Too many do too much and are not trained enough and secure enough to entrust decision-making authority to other capable leaders.

Here is Matt Perman sharing five components of effective delegation. Matt is the best selling author of, “What’s Best Next.” A book which I very highly recommend. His book is the best out there on how to anchor energy and time stewardship in a gospel centered way.

Originally posted on the Catalyst website by Matt Perman


With so many things on our to-do lists and so many new things coming at us every day, how do we stay above water as leaders?   


One common answer is delegation. That’s good advice, but it’s often incomplete. The problem is that we often aren’t taught how to delegate effectively. As a result, when we finally overcome the mistake of not delegating at all, we easily end up making the other mistake of delegating in the wrong way. Unfortunately, this mistake can be even worse! Bad delegation results in frustration, confusion, and discouragement for the people we delegate to.

So how do we delegate in a way that works? That is, what does real delegation actually look like, and how do we do it?

That first thing to know is that real delegation is above all based on a philosophy, rather than a series of steps. The philosophy is simply this: respect for the individual. Since people are created in the image of God and have incredible intrinsic worth, they are always to be treated in accord with that worth (even when delegating!).

Practically speaking, this means that our aim in delegation should not just be to the get the tasks done.

It should be to build up the other person through the accomplishment of the tasks.

Real delegation is about more than just the tasks; it’s about the people and the tasks.

When our aim is to build up the other person through the tasks that they are delegated, we treat the other person as they ought to be treated and  create far better results. For this type of delegation is motivating, instills ownership, and ultimately increases the capacity of the entire organization.


With this philosophy of delegation in place, how do you delegate in a way that gets the tasks done and builds people up in the process? You do this by communicating five things.

 1. Desired Results

These are the things that need to be accomplished. This is the most important thing because the person won’t be able to get anything done if they don’t know what they need to do in the first place. But note that these are the what—not the how. For example, when I call up the local sandwich shop to order a sub, I ask for a #2 (roast beef) and tell them my address. I don’t tell them how to make it, how to get to my house, or how fast they should drive. Likewise, the key to delegating in an empowering and motivating way that instills ownership is to make sure the outcomes are clear while preserving as much freedom as possible for the person to find their own way to accomplish those ends.

 2. Guidelines

Of course, while you want to preserve as much freedom as possible, it’s not enough just to tell the person what is needed and give no other guidance. There are often standards that are essential to accomplishing the task effectively. So, give the guidelines and point out any wrong turns they should be aware of. But note that you are giving guidelines, not detailed rules. You aren’t determining methods; you are showing the broad parameters that will help them to be effective. Also make sure that they are truly empowered—they need to know that they are free to do whatever it takes to accomplish the desired results, within the guidelines.

 3. Resources

This step is often skipped in delegation. Let the person know what is at their disposal, such as the budget available (if relevant) and additional personnel.

 4. Accountability

You don’t need to define accountability for every task delegated—that would get tiresome. Accountability just needs to be in place for the overall context of the relationship. This means knowing what the standards of performance are and when the regular reviews are.

 5. Consequences

Again, this doesn’t have to be defined for every specific task, but simply as part of the larger framework of the relationship. This would include both the good outcomes if the accountability is fulfilled and what will happen if it isn’t. Positive outcomes might include increased responsibility, promotions, financial rewards, natural consequences, and so forth.

It is true that delegation means that some things will be done less efficiently—at first. But it is worth it, because the aim is not just efficiency, but building people up. By building people up in this way through delegation, you increase the capacity of the entire organization for the long term—which is always both more efficient and effective.


Matt Perman is former director of strategy at Desiring God and author of  What’s Best Next: How the Gospel Transforms the Way You Get Things Done. He blogs at www.whatsbestnext.com and lives in Minneapolis. Twitter: @mattperman ​