Friday 23 February 2024

5 WAYS TO FIND HAPPINESS AT WORK

 A great post by Dan Rockwell.  Apt for all of us!


Happiness at work escapes you when you think, “I’ll be happy when.”

I’ll be happy when I earn a promotion.

I’ll be happy when I’m on vacation.

I’ll be happy when this project is done.

The danger of “I’ll be happy when”:

“I’ll be happy when,” is dangerous when it means you can’t be happy now. You endure today’s work because tee time is at 4:30. You endure the week because the weekend is coming. Living for the weekend is no way to live.

“I’ll be happy when” is a lie.

Desire runs one step ahead of attainment. Earning a promotion is a temporary bump in happiness. Before long, you think about the next promotion. The end of this vacation makes you count the days till the next.

The more you get the more you want and want is dissatisfaction in disguise.

5 Ways to find happiness at work:

#1. Stop worrying about happiness.

Worrying about happiness makes you unhappy. Focus on contributing what you have to offer.

#2. Choose happiness now.

Reasons to be unhappy are everywhere.

Find reasons to be happy now. Don’t ignore difficulties and challenges. Find reasons to enjoy work anyway. Notice the taste of coffee. Appreciate that people showed up. Respect people who want to do well.

#3. Focus on things you control.

Don’t focus on making others perform. Focus on being a leader who brings out the best in others.

#4. Enjoy small wins. Reach for big goals.

You don’t need a touchdown. You need a first down.

#5. Choose today’s big rock.

What’s one thing – beyond daily responsibilities – you will achieve today? Aiming at everything is exhausting.

Robert Ingersoll said, “The time to be happy is now; the place to be happy is here; and the way to be happy is to make others happy.

Tuesday 17 October 2023

3 consequences of unhealthy conflict

 An excellent post by Mac Lake....

If you are paying attention to your team at all, you've likely experienced the reality that conflict is unavoidable

 

So, how do you navigate conflict?

 

Do you ever see positive outcomes from it?

 

I've learned it's essential to understand the consequences of poorly managed conflict so I can be more ready to accept the wins that can come from navigating it well!

 

Here are three losses you will experience if you mismanage conflict:

  1. Loss of relationship
  2. Loss of respect
  3. Loss of momentum

 

If you're seeing any of those outcomes on your team, it's time to get focused on how conflict is dealt with.

 

I want to offer you encouragement, though. There are significant wins to be experienced on your team as you learn how to effectively manage conflict.  

 

Healthy conflict leads to:

  1. Greater understanding within your team
  2. Deeper relationships on your team
  3. Supernatural momentum

 

To experience these benefits, I encourage you to focus on two things: Understanding the communication styles of your team and having the courage to seize opportunities for reconciliation. 

 

Too often, leaders are afraid of conflict. 

 

They can be timid to broach topics that may ruffle feathers. They can dread the strong emotions and opinions of those in disagreement.

 

But I want to encourage you to do what often sets great leaders apart from the rest– look ahead to the overarching story. See the beauty of reconciliation. See the strength and respect gained. See the depth your team can reach together. 

 

It's worth it. 

Thursday 12 October 2023

LET GO WHEN YOU’RE AT THE END OF THE ROPE

 


A great post by Dan Rockwell!

Grit says, “When you’re at the end of the rope, tie a knot and hang on.”

What if it’s time to let go? It’s dangerous to be tenacious and lack wisdom.

You need grit to hang on. You need wisdom to let go.

Sometimes you should let go when you're at the end of the rope. Image of a knot at the end of a rope.

Image attribution: Auckland MuseumCC BY 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

When you’re at the end of your rope…

#1. Let go of foolish hope.

Nietzsche said, “Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.”

Hope makes you hang on too long.

I know a woman who was passed over twice for the COO position. She stopped hoping for the position and resolved to do a great job where she was. She earned the COO spot after she let go of hope. Eventually she earned the CEO position.

Hope deferred produces despair.

#2. Let go of corrosive bitterness.

You might feel bitter because you received less of a good thing than you deserved. You didn’t receive proper recognition, for example.

You might feel bitter because you received more of a bad thing than you deserved. You received blame for something you didn’t do, for example.

You might feel bitter when someone else receives good that should have come to you. The boss takes credit for your work, for example.

People don’t always get what they deserve.

Bitterness corrodes life. It…

  1. Drains resolve.
  2. Impedes growth.
  3. Weakens relationships.
  4. Poisons environments.
  5. Sustains learned helplessness.
  6. Breeds victims.
  7. Disrupts contentment.

#3. Let go of destructive hostility.

Lashing out is living in the past. The past controls the present until you stop trying to change what can’t be changed.

Conclusion:

When your mind’s set on one thing it can’t consider another. Things to consider…

  1. Commitment to thrive regardless of what happens to you.
  2. Forgiveness that releases offenses.
  3. Generosity to do good in an imperfect world.
  4. Resolve to stop living in the past.

A STRONG SENSE OF CALLING! IS IT THE MISSING INGREDIENT IN TODAY’S LEADERSHIP?

A challenging post by Dave Kraft!

Over the years, I have come to a few conclusions about leadership. As a leader and a leader developer, I am always thinking about various aspects of leadership: What characteristics make a good leader? What are the some of the best practices of good leaders?

One of the aspects of leadership that, in my opinion, is often missing, overlooked or not considered important, is a sense of “Calling.” At times I’ve gotten pushback when suggesting that a leader needs to be called into leadership. Some feel I’m advocating a sort of Pauline experience which is not normative; Moses and the burning bush.

I devoted an entire chapter in my book “Leaders Who Last” to calling.  If you were interested in pastoral ministry during the days of Charles Spurgeon and wanted to attend his college, you did not get in until Spurgeon himself had a conversation with you and was convinced that you were “called.” 

Calling has to do with the God of the universe speaking into your life and circumstances, expressing His will and desire for you. Suffice it to say that every Christian should serve the Lord by functioning in the body of Christ. At the same time, I believe that those who are serving in major leadership roles should have a strong sense of calling on their life (however that call is ascertained and experienced.) There is too much at stake to simply fill a slot or assume a responsibility based on feeling, desire, or ambition.Here are three aspects of “calling that I have been thinking about lately:

 1.  WHAT ARE YOU CALLED TO DO?

As a leader we need to spend time discovering our spiritual gifts. This can be accomplished through an inventory, by responding to questions. It can also be ascertained through feedback from those who know you well, along with your own evaluative experience. Additionally, ask yourself what are you passionate about and care deeply about. What keeps you up at night, or gets you up in the morning?  Gifts, passion, burdens can very well point to what the Lord is calling you to do.

2.  WHERE ARE YOU CALLED TO DO IT?

The world is a big place, and you can’t be everywhere.  Do you have a particular burden for a certain part of world? Do you seem to have an unusual interest in one country over another? Some, from early on, are drawn to Asia or Latin America or Africa. Others are even more specific and have a strong interest in a specific country but are not quite sure why. Jim and Elizabeth Elliot would be an example of this. Hudson Taylor and his interest in China or William Cary and his feeling drawn to India would be two more such examples.

The Holy Spirit could be placing an interest for a geographic region on your heart and that might be his calling for you.

3.  WITH WHOM AND FOR WHOM ARE YOU CALLED TO DO IT?

What you may be called to do and where can then be followed by what kinds of people you feel called to invest in. Mother Teresa was called to the poorest of the poor in Calcutta, India.  Here we have a country and people type. Some have a burden for parents, for successful business people, for the homeless, for unwed mothers.  You get the idea.

When you think, pray and discern what, where and whom, it can get pretty exciting. Personally, I feel called to work with aspiring and emerging leaders.  My purpose statement, born out of my calling, is: “To equip and empower the next generation of leaders in local churches by coaching, writing and teaching.” I don’t have a geographic aspect to my calling other than I want it lived out in local churches.

I would like to see the concept of calling revived so that it receives some fresh and creative attention. It could very well be the missing link in God-anointed ministry. Calling can help you stay the course when you are tempted to quit. It can anchor you in the grace and empowering of the Holy Spirit as you persist and don’t give up.  (I Timothy 4:16)

As stated above, all Christians are called to serve (Romans 12, I Corinthians 12, Ephesians 4); but, in another sense, there is the need also for a new generation of visionary leaders who are clearly called by God to lead the charge in a powerful new way.

Monday 14 November 2022

6 Sustaining Lifelines for Leaders

A great post by Dan Reiland.

The path of leadership is never constant; there are always highs and lows, good days and bad days. The challenge is to remain consistent through it all. Consistency elevates people’s trust and confidence in your leadership. 

We are different in our wiring and current circumstances, but there are clear patterns in the conversations I’ve had with more than thirty church leaders over the past two weeks. As an overview, they tend to group up like this.

  • For some, it’s about great momentum, progress, and keeping up—more success than setbacks.
  • For others, it’s more about struggle and maybe discouragement. More questions than answers.
  • For all, it’s about solving problems, making decisions, and carrying pressure.

Church leadership always carries with it seasons of success and setbacks, momentum and grind, joy and discouragement. Yet, we all do better through those seasons when we have learned the rhythms of resilience — the lifelines we need.

The highs alone are not enough to sustain you through the lows.

Even if you have been blessed with great success and sustained momentum, certain lifelines allow you to keep going with depth, meaning, and joy.

6 sustaining lifelines worth fighting for:

You’ll notice that this list isn’t about more to do but enables you to do more.

1) Margin to think

One of the highest priorities in a leader’s life that ministry can steal from your calendar is time to think. Fight for that time.

Dedicated think time is essential. Don’t fall into the misconception that we are thinking all the time. We are not. Our minds are like powerful software that functions on autopilot for much of our day. Set aside time to think.

Problem-solving is the primary way we as leaders invest most of our focused think time. Other specific categories of thinking are, for example, writing a talk, spiritual and self-reflection (including scripture,) and discerning culture.

The desired outcome of intentional think time is new insight that guides your decisions and informs the direction of your leadership.

New insight doesn’t mean a thought never before conceived, but fresh and relevant solutions, personal insight, increased self-awareness, and understanding of culture.

2) Reason to laugh                       

It’s unfortunate to go a whole day with no reason to laugh. Yes, there are days with a full agenda and nothing particularly light-hearted, but even on those days, there is reason to smile if we look for it.

Some leaders have personalities that find laughter quickly. Others need to work at it. Neither is right nor wrong, but it’s always true that laughter is a great medicine and a powerful leadership lifeline.

Because of my passion, schedule, and sometimes intensity, there are days I can become overly focused. So, one of my reminders is a little smooth stone on my desk that literally has the word “laugh” painted on it.

Kind of dumb, I know. But it works.

I see it and smile. It reminds me that no matter the circumstance, I have much to be grateful for and that joy is a choice.

How about you? Do you look for laughter and create light-hearted moments?

3) Permission to rest

You don’t need anyone’s permission to rest, but that’s not the problem. But, unfortunately, we often don’t permit ourselves to rest. Is that a struggle for you?

A great deal is written about the importance of nightly sleep, but I’m referring to periods of your working day where you have some time to catch your breath.

I will admit this is not one of my strengths, so I’m writing out of some failure and some success, enough of both to know that running at full speed is not a lifeline to longevity or effective ministry leadership.

Rest during the race of leadership is about learning your rhythms of intensity. The goal isn’t to empty your calendar; it’s a rhythm of leadership activity that allows you to catch your breath before the next more intense engagement.

It could be doing thirty minutes of email before a long, complex meeting or exercising before several more intense meetings. On the other hand, it might simply be twenty minutes of quiet reflection or taking a walk outside and returning to write a message. These kinds of ideas are practiced in weekly and monthly rhythms as well.

4) Space to heal                

It’s impossible to lead and not be hurt. The real issue is knowing how to heal and return to soul-level emotional and spiritual health rather than becoming withdrawn or even bitter.

Emotional and spiritual space to heal starts with grace for your soul. There is no need to manufacture it on your own; God gives you this grace. Your job is to receive it.

These 4 steps are not easy, but they are as simple as they appear. Don’t make them complicated; lean in.

  • Admit when you are hurt. Don’t stuff it in an attempt to be a strong leader.
  • Do not put energy into revenge or withdrawal. Instead, face the hurt and have the honest conversations.
  • Give yourself space and time to heal; this is a true leadership lifeline, but don’t let yourself get stuck there. (You may need some counseling.)
  • Choose a coach or mentor to test your resolve and closure, so you know you are fully ready to forgive and move on. The baggage of carrying hurt (pain) is too heavy to carry and lead simultaneously.

  • 5) Time to pray

Time to pray may be obvious, but I mention it for two reasons.

  • Many leaders confide that they are unhappy or satisfied with their current prayer life.
  • Prayer is the most powerful asset we have.

That being the case, it is always good to call attention to prayer, a true lifeline!

The good news about prayer is that it’s not a performance thing. It’s a relationship with God, who loves you and desires to bless you. Time is needed, but it’s more about time to sit, reflect, listen, and drink in the presence of God.

I encourage you to pick a time that works, a place that is conducive, and find a pattern you find personally helpful.

6) Initiative to grow

Your desire to grow as a leader is deeply connected to your calling, passion, and gifting. A lack of desire to grow signifies deeper things that require your attention first.

The desire alone to grow as a leader isn’t enough. True desire reveals itself through initiative. Action plus effort and energy are required to grow.

The great thing about your development as a leader is that your church is automatically the environment of your growth. Your job allows you to practice the skill or ability you are working on and measure improvement regularly.

You can begin by identifying a specific area you desire to grow and focus on. If you are not sure, ask your boss or a trusted advisor.

Don’t make a long list of all the things that you want to get better at. Pick one. Maybe two. The way to distill your list is to discern which one or two will help you advance your organisational responsibilities the most.

In this way, you grow, and the organisation does too. That’s a huge win-win.

Monday 1 August 2022

LEADERS ARE CHEERLEADERS

A great post by Dan Rockwell!  Everybody craves encouragement.  People thrive when they are encourage and cheered on! 


Success is about freedom to serve others.


Cheerleaders encourage people to succeed.


All of life’s great battles are within.  Among others, my battles include, selfishness, the need for the spotlight, and the need to control things. Put succinctly, I “prefer” that others don’t outshine me!  When I lose those battles, I’m an insignificant leader with a title but little positive influence.


Resentment of other people’s success prevents leaders from becoming cheerleaders.

Cheerleaders smile when others succeed.


Leaders are cheerleaders

The stereotypical cheerleader is cute and dumb.  (Cheerleaders, please forgive me!) 

Influential leaders are smart cheerleaders.  Better to stop making inane suggestions that slightly tweak another’s work, behavior, or words and start giving out atah boy’s, great job’s, and you are da bomb’s to others, especially those who outshine you.


Leader’s reach higher by helping others reach higher.

Be a cheerleader to 10 people today. 


Shine the light on something you see in another that outshines what you see in you.  Note:  don’t mention yourself while doing it.  For example, don’t say you are so much better at listening than I am.  Do say, I really admire your ability to _______ (fill in the blank). 


Here is a list of potential candidates:  spouse, son or daughter, boss, co-worker, a service provider, client, parent, employee, public servant, checkout clerk, or …


Is there a danger of too much cheer leading?

Thursday 21 April 2022

3 WAYS TO MANAGE YOUR CALENDAR

 Great advice from Dan Rockwell

3 WAYS TO MANAGE YOUR CALENDAR: DEAR DAN, HOW DO YOU PRACTICE AN OPEN-DOOR POLICY

A world without boundaries can’t exist. 

You can’t manage your calendar until you set boundaries.

A world without boundaries can't exist. Image of a tennis ball just inside the line.

Dear Dan,

I am learning how to manage my calendar and priorities. How would you suggest I manage the calendar and still continue to practice an open-door policy? I feel that limiting available time to “office hours” would then be perceived as limited openness and availability to personnel.

Jasmine

Manage your calendar by setting boundaries. Image of a tennis ball inside the line.

Dear Jasmine,

I respect your desire to be available. Isolation is the enemy. 

In a turbulent world you’re always learning to manage your calendar.

I suggest you include boundaries along with your commitment to be available. People will understand that you cannot be available at their beck and call.

Boundaries are essential to healthy relationships.

Gather the team for a boundary-setting discussion. The following topics are relevant.

3 ways to manage your calendar:

#1. Manage your calendar for deep work.

How will the team allow people to engage in deep work?

Deep work requires uninterrupted time. 

It sounds good to be available to everyone at the drop of a hat, but it’s not effective. It gives too much power to others.

Exception: The exception to closing the door once in a while is someone whose job requires constant availability. When a doctor is on-call, for example.

#2. Manage your calendar with closed doors.

Discuss creating times when people are allowed to be NOT AVAILABLE.

You already practice being not available. When you’re in the middle of doing things you deem really important, you prevent interruptions. Sometimes you leave the office to get deep work done.

#3. Establish open-door hours.

Discuss times of day an open door seems most effective and efficient. How much open-door time seems realistic?

Enable people to know when popping in is appropriate. Suppose every morning from 10 to noon and in the afternoon from 2 to 4 is pop-in-time. 

Closed door time could be from 9 to 10 a.m. and noon to 1 p.m.

Expect people to adjust their expectations. 

Tip:

No rule is unbreakable. If the house is on fire, go ahead and barge in.

Model boundaries:

Model healthy time management for your team/organization. You want people on your team to take care of themselves. Why would you treat yourself otherwise?

It’s OK to value yourself.

How do you balance availability with boundaries?

Tips:

Defeat distraction and manage your calendar: How Distraction-Addicts Find Focus

Live the big rock life: Put One Big Rock on Your Calendar