5 WAYS TO FACE THE CHALLENGES OF COACHING TEAMMATES

Nice one Dan Rockwell.

The challenge of coaching teammates is technical skill. You know how to do their job the “right” way, if you’ve been promoted up the ranks. Or, at least you think you know! 

Don’t explore options when there is only one. It’s disingenuous, manipulative, and humiliating.

If there truly is only one way to accomplish the goal, then teach, don’t coach. Tell, show,  give room to practice, and evaluate.

If you know “a” way:

What if you know “a” way to get the job done, but want them to explore their options?

Tell them you’ve done the job and you know a way to get it done. Ask permission to explore options that make sense for them.

“Would it be ok if we explore ways to accomplish this goal in ways that make sense to you? What works for me, may not work best for you.”

Don’t be a know-it-all because you know one answer.

Coach after you give advice:

If coachees want your advice, and you are inclined to give it, coach after they’ve tried your methods.

“Go ahead and try it this way. Let’s talk about the things that worked and didn’t work for you at our next meeting. Perhaps we’ll find new ways to get the job done that suit your strengths.”

Avoid:

1. My way is the right way.
2. “I didn’t think your way would work, but I wanted you to learn a lesson.”
3. Coaching as coercion or manipulation.
4. Pretending you don’t know, when you know.
5. Savior-coach attitudes.

Coaching teammates:

1. Ask at least two questions before making statements.
2. Provide space for progress, if time allows.
3. Pursue solutions that work for others, not you.
4. Give advice reluctantly.
5. Honor their strengths and celebrate progress.

Bonus: Ask, “What’s next?”

How might internal coaches answer the challenges of coaching teammates and direct reports?

How to identify "Character" in potential leaders

Character is still important and still prominent in the biblical passages on leadership. But how do you spot “Character” in potential future leaders?  

Dan Rockwell helps us to identify character in leaders before we pick them and give them responsibilities. Originally posted by Dan Rockwell

You dare stand with men and women of character. But, protect yourself from leaders who love position, rely on authority, and need admiration.

Character invites respect and loyalty.

Five ways to spot leaders with character:

1.     Under authority.

o    Fully embrace organizational values.

o    Speak well of those in authority.

o    Supportive of board decisions.

o    Publicly stand with decision where there was private disagreement.

2.     Able to press through resistance.

o    Tenacious when it comes to excellence.

o    Willing to suffer for principle without retaliation.

o    Serving others when it would be easier to serve self.

o    Prepared to disadvantage self for a higher cause.

3.     Open to correction.

o    Willing to acknowledge wrong.

o    Passionate about improvement.

o    Open with ideas they’re learning.

4.     Passionate about next steps.

o    Haven’t arrived.

o    Not self-sufficient.

o    Provide second chances.

o    Trust others who have expertise.

5.     Emotionally steady.

o    No tantrums.

o    Openness to suggestion.

o    Curious regarding disagreement.

A leader with character believes success is about others.

What do you look for in leaders with character?

THE CURE FOR TWEAK-BOSS

A great post by Dan Rockwell

Don’t come around – after the job is done – with your pearls of wisdom! If you know the best way to do it, either do it yourself, or explain how you want it done – before it’s done.

“You could have…,” demotivates.

Bosses want:

1. Initiative. Go do your best. Don’t keep asking questions. Tweaking at the end allows initiative.
2. Learning. It’s OK to stumble along, as  long as you’re learning. They don’t want to explain everything.
3. Improvement. Performance was acceptable this time. They want improvement next time.

We could always improve. But, why bother doing your best, when your best is never good enough?

Suggestions before:

Successful leaders own their performance.

One of my colleagues is better than me at support and compassion, another is better at planning. I need their voice in my performance. But, I don’t enjoy their tweaks after the fact, even though I benefit from them.

Leverage the strengths of others before you execute, not after.

I go to my compassionate colleague to gain his “tweaks” before I have tough conversations. When appropriate, I invite him to join.

I go to my checklist colleague to gain his “tweaks” before I execute a plan. I explain the goal and solicit his suggestions.

1. Explain goals.
2. Lay out plans.
3. Ask for suggestions.

Seek input before, not after. Don’t wait for your tweak-boss to come to you with improvements on past performance.

Proactive incompetence:

Tap the strengths of others before you begin, not after.

Don’t flaunt your weaknesses; leverage the strengths of others.

1. Prepare thoroughly.
2. Don’t expect others to do your work for you.
3. Lay out your goal and plan. Seek input.
4. Integrate their suggestions, when they make sense to you.
5. Proactively seek feedback after projects are completed. Maintain control of your performance.

How might leaders tap the strengths of teammates before projects begin?

What prevents leaders from exercising proactive incompetence?

Humility learns. Arrogance knows.

“If you stop learning, you might as well lie down and let them throw the dirt on you.” Ken Blanchard.

Not learning:

1. Controlling people.
2. Closing out people.
3. Justifying decisions.
4. Preventing mistakes.
5. Explaining why you’re right.

In all your learning, learn to be a learner.

15 ways to expand leadership: learning to learn

1. Let others be right.
2. Explore the grey. Black and white has its place, but learning happens in the grey where both/and embrace each other.
3. Listen to people you don’t like. Chances are they’re different from you. Learning is exploring difference.
4. Go “with” before going “against.” Learning includes challenging ideas, but understand before confrontation.
5. Embrace confusion, don’t solve quickly. Thinking shifts to defending, once you think you know.
6. Talk about what hurts. Pain teaches more than comfort.
7. Believe the person you’re talking with knows something you don’t.
8. Try something that feels awkward. Things that feel right align with the past and keep you doing more of the same. Warning: don’t violate your values when embracing awkward behaviors.
9. Don’t beat yourself up when you don’t know. Commit to find out.
10. Say your thoughts outloud. Sometimes smart thoughts sound dumb when spoken out loud.
11. Listen to smart people even if they have frailties. Don’t rule someone out because they have weaknesses.
12. Write down your ideas. Writing is thinking.
13. Relax about learning. Stress narrows your thinking. Take a breath. Walk. Laugh.
14. Ask yourself, “What am I learning?” Do you have an answer?
15. Say, “That’s interesting,” when you hear something that seems “wrong.”

Seven Deadly Sins Of Church Leaders

A great post by Pastor Perry Noble of Newsping Church

#1 – Comparison – One of the best ways to feel better about yourself as a church leader is to compare yourself and your church to people who are not doing as good as you are.  (It’s also a sign of extreme insecurity). 

#2 – Piling On – When a church leader falls and people begin to attack, one of the biggest problems in church world is that Christians seem to feel an obligation to “pile on” when they do not know the whole story... and in reality the person who fell probably needs more people praying for them than they need another bullet in their back. 

#3 – Majoring On The Minors – When church leaders refuse to “break bread” with someone else who is a believer but doesn’t line up doctrinally with everything they believe, then they do not represent Christ as He commanded us to in John 13:34-35. 

#4 – Leading By Fear – If God has not given us a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7) then He hasn’t given it to church leaders to lead with. 

#5 – Using Prayer As An Excuse For Passivity – Many times a church leader can see a problem and realize that a difficult decision or either a tough conversation needs to take place… but they will “pray about it” rather than participating with the leadership calling God has placed on their lives. 

#6 – Declaring What We Are Against Way More Than What We Are For – All too often when people hear the word “Christian” they think, “oh, those are the people who hate me and what I do.”  What if we, as church leaders, stopped screaming at people and actually took the time to serve them?  THAT could change the world. 

#7 – Laziness – Ministry is tough work.  Loving people is tough work.  Leadership is tough work.  When the memories of the past are greater than our future hopes and dreams it is most likely because we have settled into a place of predictable comfort and have no desire to “step out of the boat.”  

The more people you serve the greater you become!

Small leaders/managers need to feel big!

Egotistical leaders/managers walk around like they run the place. But, no one enjoys an insecure, heavy handed, meddlesome, leader.

Small leaders/managers:

1. Throw their weight around.
2. Get huffy when challenged.
3. Love control.
4. Thrive on perks.
5. Steal the spotlight.
6. Put people down.
7. Feel threatened.
8. Need to be coddled.
9. Hold grudges and withhold gratitude.
10. Elevate themselves while overshadowing others.
11. Know more than everyone else.
12. Have all the answers.

Small managers have big egos.

Three steps to great leadership:

Ego blocks greatness.

Service is the path to greatness.

The more people you serve the greater you become.

1. Give yourself wholeheartedly to service.

Think under not over.

Keep saying, “I’m here to serve the people who serve this organization.”

The higher you go, the more people you get to serve. Great leaders are at the bottom of the heap, not the top.

2. Pour into yourself so you can pour into others.

When I say, “Pour into yourself,” I don’t mean go easy on yourself!

Ease is the path to oblivion. Can you name one person who makes you better by pushing you out of your comfort zone? Comfort is the path to more of the same.

I’m saddened by how many leaders lose themselves to position and how few pour into their own leadership. Can you name three people who challenge your thinking and strengthen your heart?

3. Stop doing leadership. Be a leader.

The greatest loss of leadership is forgetting who you are.

Who helps you find and express your authentic leadership? Is there one person who asks you, “Who do you want to be?”

Leeches pressure you to do stuff at the expense of your soul. Some leaders don’t even understand the question, “Who do you want to be?”

What are the top three characteristics of the person you aspire to be today? (Not activities.)

How might you give yourself to service today?

7 WAYS TO BECOME A RESPECTED LEADER

A GREAT POST BY dAN rOCKWELL!

You don’t need position when people respect you!

Respect amplifies leadership.

Leaders who aren’t respected, depend on position, power, authority, and control.

Respect and influence:

You have the most influence with those who respect you most.

If people respect you, serve them. The more others respect you, the more your service matters.

7 ways to become a respected leader:

1. Make people feel good about themselves. Think how special they are, not how special you are. When people think you’re special, make them feel special.
2. Make things better, not worse. Work to solve the issues you bring up. Children look to others for solutions. Big boys and girls take the bull by the horns.
3. Reach out first. The greater the distance you bridge, the more power of influence you possess. If you have position, people may be reluctant to reach out to you. Reach out to them.
4. Show tenderness while dealing with tough issues.
5. Offer help without taking over. People don’t respect you when you help too soon and too much.
6. Get your hands dirty. Embrace servant-leadership.
7. Practice and honor behaviors that reflect shared values. People who value generosity don’t want to hear about what you’re doing for yourself, for example.

Bonus: Don’t ask for respect, extend it.

7 ways to earn respect if you’re new or young:

1. Honor the work of those who came before you.
2. Honor the work of those around you.
3. Avoid gossip. Someone will give you the opportunity to badmouth others. Don’t take it.
4. Make things better not worse. (#3 above.) You’re going to see things you don’t like. Every time you feel like complaining, make something better.
5. Deliver great results.
6. Do what you say. Apologize if you fall short and quickly make it right.
7. Listen.