THE CURE FOR TWEAK-BOSS

A great post by Dan Rockwell

Don’t come around – after the job is done – with your pearls of wisdom! If you know the best way to do it, either do it yourself, or explain how you want it done – before it’s done.

“You could have…,” demotivates.

Bosses want:

1. Initiative. Go do your best. Don’t keep asking questions. Tweaking at the end allows initiative.
2. Learning. It’s OK to stumble along, as  long as you’re learning. They don’t want to explain everything.
3. Improvement. Performance was acceptable this time. They want improvement next time.

We could always improve. But, why bother doing your best, when your best is never good enough?

Suggestions before:

Successful leaders own their performance.

One of my colleagues is better than me at support and compassion, another is better at planning. I need their voice in my performance. But, I don’t enjoy their tweaks after the fact, even though I benefit from them.

Leverage the strengths of others before you execute, not after.

I go to my compassionate colleague to gain his “tweaks” before I have tough conversations. When appropriate, I invite him to join.

I go to my checklist colleague to gain his “tweaks” before I execute a plan. I explain the goal and solicit his suggestions.

1. Explain goals.
2. Lay out plans.
3. Ask for suggestions.

Seek input before, not after. Don’t wait for your tweak-boss to come to you with improvements on past performance.

Proactive incompetence:

Tap the strengths of others before you begin, not after.

Don’t flaunt your weaknesses; leverage the strengths of others.

1. Prepare thoroughly.
2. Don’t expect others to do your work for you.
3. Lay out your goal and plan. Seek input.
4. Integrate their suggestions, when they make sense to you.
5. Proactively seek feedback after projects are completed. Maintain control of your performance.

How might leaders tap the strengths of teammates before projects begin?

What prevents leaders from exercising proactive incompetence?

Humility learns. Arrogance knows.

“If you stop learning, you might as well lie down and let them throw the dirt on you.” Ken Blanchard.

Not learning:

1. Controlling people.
2. Closing out people.
3. Justifying decisions.
4. Preventing mistakes.
5. Explaining why you’re right.

In all your learning, learn to be a learner.

15 ways to expand leadership: learning to learn

1. Let others be right.
2. Explore the grey. Black and white has its place, but learning happens in the grey where both/and embrace each other.
3. Listen to people you don’t like. Chances are they’re different from you. Learning is exploring difference.
4. Go “with” before going “against.” Learning includes challenging ideas, but understand before confrontation.
5. Embrace confusion, don’t solve quickly. Thinking shifts to defending, once you think you know.
6. Talk about what hurts. Pain teaches more than comfort.
7. Believe the person you’re talking with knows something you don’t.
8. Try something that feels awkward. Things that feel right align with the past and keep you doing more of the same. Warning: don’t violate your values when embracing awkward behaviors.
9. Don’t beat yourself up when you don’t know. Commit to find out.
10. Say your thoughts outloud. Sometimes smart thoughts sound dumb when spoken out loud.
11. Listen to smart people even if they have frailties. Don’t rule someone out because they have weaknesses.
12. Write down your ideas. Writing is thinking.
13. Relax about learning. Stress narrows your thinking. Take a breath. Walk. Laugh.
14. Ask yourself, “What am I learning?” Do you have an answer?
15. Say, “That’s interesting,” when you hear something that seems “wrong.”

Seven Deadly Sins Of Church Leaders

A great post by Pastor Perry Noble of Newsping Church

#1 – Comparison – One of the best ways to feel better about yourself as a church leader is to compare yourself and your church to people who are not doing as good as you are.  (It’s also a sign of extreme insecurity). 

#2 – Piling On – When a church leader falls and people begin to attack, one of the biggest problems in church world is that Christians seem to feel an obligation to “pile on” when they do not know the whole story... and in reality the person who fell probably needs more people praying for them than they need another bullet in their back. 

#3 – Majoring On The Minors – When church leaders refuse to “break bread” with someone else who is a believer but doesn’t line up doctrinally with everything they believe, then they do not represent Christ as He commanded us to in John 13:34-35. 

#4 – Leading By Fear – If God has not given us a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7) then He hasn’t given it to church leaders to lead with. 

#5 – Using Prayer As An Excuse For Passivity – Many times a church leader can see a problem and realize that a difficult decision or either a tough conversation needs to take place… but they will “pray about it” rather than participating with the leadership calling God has placed on their lives. 

#6 – Declaring What We Are Against Way More Than What We Are For – All too often when people hear the word “Christian” they think, “oh, those are the people who hate me and what I do.”  What if we, as church leaders, stopped screaming at people and actually took the time to serve them?  THAT could change the world. 

#7 – Laziness – Ministry is tough work.  Loving people is tough work.  Leadership is tough work.  When the memories of the past are greater than our future hopes and dreams it is most likely because we have settled into a place of predictable comfort and have no desire to “step out of the boat.”  

The more people you serve the greater you become!

Small leaders/managers need to feel big!

Egotistical leaders/managers walk around like they run the place. But, no one enjoys an insecure, heavy handed, meddlesome, leader.

Small leaders/managers:

1. Throw their weight around.
2. Get huffy when challenged.
3. Love control.
4. Thrive on perks.
5. Steal the spotlight.
6. Put people down.
7. Feel threatened.
8. Need to be coddled.
9. Hold grudges and withhold gratitude.
10. Elevate themselves while overshadowing others.
11. Know more than everyone else.
12. Have all the answers.

Small managers have big egos.

Three steps to great leadership:

Ego blocks greatness.

Service is the path to greatness.

The more people you serve the greater you become.

1. Give yourself wholeheartedly to service.

Think under not over.

Keep saying, “I’m here to serve the people who serve this organization.”

The higher you go, the more people you get to serve. Great leaders are at the bottom of the heap, not the top.

2. Pour into yourself so you can pour into others.

When I say, “Pour into yourself,” I don’t mean go easy on yourself!

Ease is the path to oblivion. Can you name one person who makes you better by pushing you out of your comfort zone? Comfort is the path to more of the same.

I’m saddened by how many leaders lose themselves to position and how few pour into their own leadership. Can you name three people who challenge your thinking and strengthen your heart?

3. Stop doing leadership. Be a leader.

The greatest loss of leadership is forgetting who you are.

Who helps you find and express your authentic leadership? Is there one person who asks you, “Who do you want to be?”

Leeches pressure you to do stuff at the expense of your soul. Some leaders don’t even understand the question, “Who do you want to be?”

What are the top three characteristics of the person you aspire to be today? (Not activities.)

How might you give yourself to service today?

7 WAYS TO BECOME A RESPECTED LEADER

A GREAT POST BY dAN rOCKWELL!

You don’t need position when people respect you!

Respect amplifies leadership.

Leaders who aren’t respected, depend on position, power, authority, and control.

Respect and influence:

You have the most influence with those who respect you most.

If people respect you, serve them. The more others respect you, the more your service matters.

7 ways to become a respected leader:

1. Make people feel good about themselves. Think how special they are, not how special you are. When people think you’re special, make them feel special.
2. Make things better, not worse. Work to solve the issues you bring up. Children look to others for solutions. Big boys and girls take the bull by the horns.
3. Reach out first. The greater the distance you bridge, the more power of influence you possess. If you have position, people may be reluctant to reach out to you. Reach out to them.
4. Show tenderness while dealing with tough issues.
5. Offer help without taking over. People don’t respect you when you help too soon and too much.
6. Get your hands dirty. Embrace servant-leadership.
7. Practice and honor behaviors that reflect shared values. People who value generosity don’t want to hear about what you’re doing for yourself, for example.

Bonus: Don’t ask for respect, extend it.

7 ways to earn respect if you’re new or young:

1. Honor the work of those who came before you.
2. Honor the work of those around you.
3. Avoid gossip. Someone will give you the opportunity to badmouth others. Don’t take it.
4. Make things better not worse. (#3 above.) You’re going to see things you don’t like. Every time you feel like complaining, make something better.
5. Deliver great results.
6. Do what you say. Apologize if you fall short and quickly make it right.
7. Listen.

10 WAYS TO DISCERN RATHER THAN CONDEMN

Foolish leaders believe pointing out what went wrong inspires people to do better.

You can’t condemn and inspire at the same time.

Discerning leaders hunt for things that are going right. Condemning leaders point out what went wrong.

Condemning leaders:

1. Fixate on mistakes.
2. Focus on shortcoming.
3. Concentrate on failure.
4. Obsess over faults.

The lowest form of leadership is pointing out faults after things go wrong.

4 results of condemning leadership:

1. Dis-empowered teammates.
2. Self-protective attitudes.
3. Fear of failure..
4. Low energy environments.

Fault-finding is the easy side of discernment. It doesn’t take much to explain what should have been done.

Discerning leaders search for excellence. Condemning leaders find fault.

The highest form of leadership is maximizing potential.

10 ways to be a discerning leader:

1. Evaluate to find the good. Anyone can point out the bad.
2. Analyze what works.
3. Search for what is useful.
4. Actively show approval of behaviors that matter.
5. Search for useful behaviors to repeat.
6. Seek positive tipping points. Discerning leaders dig into successes to uncover simple key factors that makes things work.
7. Use purpose to highlight behaviors that matter.
8. Make reaching goals easier. Ask your teams how you can help them succeed.
9. Engage in behaviors and say words that increase energy in others.
10. See the best in people.

Discerning leaders confront when:

1. Shared values are violated, as long as those values are clearly known before hand.
2. Behaviors fall short, as long as expectations were clear from the beginning.
3. Goals aren’t reached, as long as people are equipped and qualified.

Discerning leaders maximize success by taking action before things go wrong. Condemning leaders set expectations after things go wrong.

7 WAYS TO PUT IN MORE THAN YOU TAKE OUT

A great Post by Dan Rockwell

You’re a black hole, if all you think about is what you need from others.

Great leaders give more than they take.

4 things that drain people:

1. Expectation without appreciation. You aren’t thankful for behaviors you expect. “We don’t thank people for doing their job.”
2. Direction without respect. “I don’t care what you have to do, just get it done.”
3. Nit-picking without honoring hard work.
4. Showing up when there are problems but not celebrating successes. “Seagull managers fly in, make a lot of noise, dump on everyone, then fly out.” Ken Blanchard.

Energizing goes beyond paychecks and plaques.

7 ways to put in more than you take out:

1. Make a list of ways you can pour into your teammates. Engage in at least one act of free generosity every day.
2. Agree on what matters today, tomorrow, and next week. People want to do what matters. In order to succeed at what matters, you must first know what matters.
3. Learn from others. “What do you think?”
4. Hold yourself and others to high standards with tenacity and kindness. Define and reach for high standards together.
5. Lead with heart. Connect results to purpose. Explain how they’re making things better in view of organizational purpose. “When you open a door for a customer, you take us where we want to go,” for example.
6. Focus on solutions more than problems. Examine problems long enough to understand them, but focus on making things better. When things go wrong, ask:
   • What are we learning?
   • What do we need to stop doing?
   • What will you do differently next time?
7. Make people feel important. If you don’t know what makes people feel important, ask, “What makes you feel important?”

Bonus: Forgive sincere failure. Confront negligence. Give second chances.

How might leaders learn to give more than they take?